Jessica Simpson wants to be Michelle Obama, somehow. Jennifer Aniston is locked in a fitness war with a swimsuit model. Peaches wore a confederate flag shirt. Brooke Shields. Sunday's Gossip Roundup is giving a voice to the (literally) small people.

Reuters and MSNBC report that a "failed explosive device" has prompted an evacuation of Times Square. Earlier tonight, a man fled from an SUV that was smoking and making popping sounds. Inside, FDNY found "explosives, gasoline, propane and burned wires."

The White House Correspondents' Association Dinner was tonight, your only chance to catch Justin Bieber and Tim Geithner in the same room. You weren't invited; neither were we. What did we miss? Jokes!

Hollywood converged on DC tonight for the annual White House Correspondents' Association dinner. Photos of longtime political junkies like Jessica Simpson, Kim Kardashian, and Justin Bieber below. [Photos via AP, Getty Images]

Police have shut down Times Square due to a suspicious package.

Ever wonder what your angry toddler is spewing at you when they attempt to talk? Kevin Hart has it all figure it out.

The White House Correspondents' Association dinner is tonight, and it's the perfect mix of self-congratulation, celebrity-worship and Justin Bieber. Everyone's already there, here are some things from their twitter accounts. (You can watch live coverage here.)

Well, we were watching the streaming coverage of the red carpet for tonight's White House Correspondents Association Dinner, and we overheard Alec Baldwin telling a reporter that he was hosting the SNL season finale, May 15th. Video after the jump.

82 year-old Indian Parhlad Jani says he hasn't had food or water for 70 years, living on "spiritual life-force" as a breatharian. There actually was a medical term for this: 'Gullible.' But they took it out of the dictionary. [Perthnow]

The Enquirer decided to spend the good will it earned from breaking an actual story — the John Edwards affair — on an incredibly shabby tale about an alleged Obama affair captured on video. They've already retracted the video part.

A woman plays it safe at the 136th running of the Kentucky Derby today. Lookin at Luck is the favorite to win. [Pic via Getty]

Looks like Shepard Fairey's infamous vandal-attracting mural might have been done without a permit. Whoops!

Arizona may have set a record for the most immediately unpopular law ever. The measure to force cops to ask brown-looking people for immigration papers was condemned by Obama. Now people are taking to the streets to show their displeasure.

Jesus Christ. We just got finished with our guide to Shelby Lynne, the country singer who might come out in People next week and now we hear that it is a different country singer: Chely Wright.

[A man is shot by a cupcake cannon. Slow motion video of cupcake cannon victims after the jump.]

When we speculated that Shelby Lynne was the person who would be coming out in the pages of People on May 5th, everyone was all: Who? Shelby Lynne is a pop-country singer with a long career of successes and false-starts.

His first post, on MySpace of all places, is entitled 'Hello, I'm Michael Douglas's Father'. Kirk's current mood, in case you were wondering, is 'sassy'. He has a little sassy emoticon to underline this point.

Buffett — who it is worth pointing out invested $5bn in Goldman at the height of the financial crisis — mounted what the WSJ call a "vigorous defense " of the company, saying he did not believe they had acted improperly.

In a dusty storeroom in Afghanistan, seven soldiers stand in formation. Lady Gaga is on the sound system. They dance. Videos like these from the frontline are a far cry from candid camera hazing rituals that usually grab the spotlight.

DADT won't be repealed until 2011, at the earliest. Robert Gates said yesterday he was "strongly opposed" to DADT changes before the military completes its review of the policy in December. He probably saw that Lady Gaga video. [Daily Intel]