Can you guess what movie this image comes from? Check back for the answer at 4pm today.

The Oscar-winning director wrote a letter, while under brutal house arrest in his Swiss chalet, saying he is the target of fameball lawyers, and that he already served his time "in a normal prison" for raping a 13-year-old girl. [SwissInfo]

Police commissioner Ray Kelly is handling a difficult party schedule, but has managed to find some time to perform his day job this week by shaking up the command structure of the NYPD in an effort to quell rising crime.

Looking to start an online criminal enterprise? Look no further than an Eastern European hacker website that offers stolen Facebook accounts for between $25 and $45. Just ask for "kirllos" and he should be able to set you up.

Who says doing time has to be a bad experience? The new Halden Fengsel prison in Norway is a criminal's dream: It boasts running trails, rock climbing, a recording studio, and offers cooking courses set in a sleek, Ikea-like facility.

Megachurches aren't generally known for their openness toward sexuality (just ask Ted Haggard!). But a Kansas church now runs a support group that helps perverted women beat their porn addiction: "God created sex. But the enemy has twisted it."

What do Barack Obama, a "handcuffed bare-breasted woman" and a gay resort in Phuket have in common? Why, they're among the Twitter accounts followed by Australian Prime Minster Kevin Rudd, who should probably stop auto-following. [Sky via spikenard]

[A dead sea turtle washed up on the shore in Pass Christian, Mississippi. Fishing has been banned in the Gulf as the government scrambles to deal with a disaster that could be "worse than Valdez." Pic via AP.]

Already devastated by a decades-long shortage of the letter "R," residents of Boston are now forced to boil their water in the aftermath of "catastrophic and unprecedented pipe rupture" that's left the area without clean tap water for two days.

TMZ says they can confirm that Chely Wright is the celebrity coming out on the cover of People, and we've got more evidence, courtesy tipster BowlingForDollars: A Facebook photo of Wright that mentions her "profile in People mag Tuesday."

The NYPD has released security camera footage of possible suspect in Saturday's botched Times Square car bomb attempt, showing a man changing his shirt in an alley near the intended bomb site. Click through for the video.

In her new memoir, Laura Bush wonders if she was poisoned while in Germany in 2007. The chef who cooked her food says she's crazy. Simple stomach flu, or al Qaeda poison conspiracy? Whom do we believe?! The chef, probably.

[Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad arrived in New York today for a UN conference. Like everyone else, Ahmadinejad loves New York—he's visited at least once a year since 2005. Image via mattmolnar's Flickr and nyc the tumblr.]

Dana Snyder made a meta appearance as himself on tonight's 100th episode of Aqua Teen Hunger Force. Thought only to be the voice of the now almost 10 year old milkshake-with-the-heart-of-Don Rickles, Dana proved he was much much more.

The purported Britney Spears demo of "Telephone"—originally written for Spears by Lady Gaga before Gaga hit it big—has leaked. That sound you just heard was "BritBrit" overtaking "Bieber" on Twitter. We have the track, and some theories.

According to the Daily Beast's Lloyd Grove, "the razor-sharp jokesters from The Daily Show" helped write Obama's White House Correspondents' Dinner speech. It's not hard to out-funny Leno nowadays, but that's like bringing a predator drone to a knife fight.

Continental and United Airlines have agreed to merge, creating the world's largest carrier.

A group of scientists were able to strip electrons from atoms, encouraging "the formation of hydroxyl radicals." In layman's terms, they created clouds with a laser beam. In X-Men terms, they combined Storm with Cyclops. [New Scientist; Getty]

Having someone in the stall next to you is nerve-wracking enough but what about those restroom attendants? They're the creepiest.

Hey everybody, this is Mary's friend Liam filling in this week. Let's get down to business, Walt-and-Jesse 2.0 (aka Neil)-style.