This seven year old French girl breaks it down and schools you with her dancing skills. Take notes, people!

Sometimes we believe that tabloid sex goddess Andrea Peyser writes her columns solely to "push our buttons," by focusing on the two topics we are most passionate about: 1) Hot sex, and 2) Wal-Mart. Andrea is in favor of both!

Let's just hope her husband already knows. This actor goes out of his way for secret plastic surgery and this actress got some fake bling from an ex. Everyone's got secrets, some are just better at hiding them.

Yesterday, Somali pirates dramatically seized a Russian oil tanker with 23 crew members and $52 million in oil aboard. But a "robust" response from a hearty band of Russian sailors has liberated the seamen—no oil necessary.

Can you guess what movie this image comes from? Check back for the answer at 4pm today.

23-year-old Pakistani Mohammad Ajmal Amir Kasab, the only surviving gunman from the November 2008 Mumbai terrorist attack, was today sentenced to death by hanging on charges of murder and waging war against India. [Guardian, pic]

The company responsible for the Gulf of Mexico oil spill wants you to know that they're working very hard to fix it. They've capped one leak! And now they're towing a concrete "dome" to the site to contain the spill.

Big, scary Asian carp are threatening to destroy fish populations in the Great Lakes. So how will officials stop them? By poisoning everything headed for Lake Michigan with a pesticide that is "mildly toxic" to humans. [Chicago Tribune, pic]

Erik Prince, the former head of mercenary outfit Blackwater USA, stopped by his hometown in Michigan to give a speech yesterday. He said the real threat to American values is not Al Qaeda or the Taliban, it's the US government!

First the Florida governor's GOP friends ditched him for a Tea Party candidate. Then 20 of them sent Crist a letter saying that they're no longer friends, and they want their campaign donations back: "Those days are over." Harsh. [AP]

A SWAT team raided Jonathan Whitworth's house in Februrary looking for a "large amount of marijuana." They shot his two dogs, killing one. All they found was a pipe, a grinder, and a "small amount" of weed. Now there's video.

Want to read Faisal Shahzad's resume? He has Powerpoint skills!

Who finds pot, and throws it away? Airport security screeners, that's who. Two Newark Airport screeners are in trouble after being caught tossing a baggie they found on the floor. I feel like they sort of deserve it. [Newark Star-Ledger]

On tonight's Report, Stephen Colbert profiled a new kind of domestic threat: the unsightly presence of outdoor clothes lines. Watch in horror as Colbert illustrates how the fabric of America is hung out to dry.

[An irritated sea lion pup spent four hours hiding underneath a San Diego police car before being pulled out by Sea World animal care specialist Kevin Robinson. It will be released within two months. Pic via AP]

The Phoenix Suns took the court for Wednesday night's game wearing "Los Suns" jerseys to "honor [Arizona's] Latino community" and "give the middle finger to racists" (I made up that second quote). Guess how Rush Limbaugh felt about it?

What will today's 13-year-old boys be most embarrassed about in 2020? Probably the fact that they are all getting their hair cut like Justin Bieber, according to The New York Times. And that they are paying $175 to do so.

As we predicted last week, NBC has announced Alec Baldwin will host SNL's season finale.

New York's Triborough Bridge has been shut down after a worker found an abandoned U-Haul truck that "smelled of gas." The NYPD bomb squad has been dispatched. Update: NYPD says there's no bomb and the bridge will reopen. [MSNBC]

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is the president of Iran, but he's also the host of a talk-show. It is called The Crazy Report, with Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. In today's episode, Ahmadinejad told George Stephanopoulos he knew where Osama Bin Laden is. Washington D.C.!