Beau Biden, the vice president's 41 year-old son and the Attorney General of Delaware, is in the hospital. For some reason. The White House just released the following mysterious statement (Updated below):

More on yesterday's 11-month jail sentence for hometown subterranean vandalartist, Poster Boy: PB missed his May 6 court date, and was punished for it by an irate judge. Damn. His book is scheduled to be published June 1. [NYP, AnimalNY]

She told her friends that the producer of the show was "lacking," now he's going to fire her. This celebrity couple had a silly accident while having sex outdoors. Let's hope it had nothing to do with his endowment.

People like Kellan Lutz, Channing Tatum, and Jessica Biel are going places. Also today: a new MTV show sounds frustrating, you'll have to wait a while for Simon Cowell news, and TBS figures some stuff out.

He might not have perfect pitch, but he has the timing down.

A coterie of brave, attractive women in New York City—led by spiritual guru Julia Allison—are pledging to give up sex for upwards of two weeks in a purifying "celibacy cleanse." Like a juice cleanse, but less sperm.

Can you guess what movie this image comes from? Check back for the answer at 4pm today.

It was about being "fake." Speaking of fakes, guess which starlet got a boob job now? Jake Gyllenhaal fears ostriches. Ed Westwick fears Olivia Munn. Bethenny Frankel filmed her childbirth for a TV show.

Faisal Shahzad, the Times Square car bomber, has been, by all accounts, spilling his guts to interrogators. Nevertheless, the fact that he was read his rights has outraged Republicans, who hate rights. And Obama may be amenable to their complaints.

This little Indian kid skates under 40 cars in one shot. In other news, just watching this can cause your pelvis to shatter.

So, how did Gawker.TV fare in social networks this week? We're up to 1443 Facebook Fans (up 0.7%), 3641 Twitter Followers (up 1.82%) and 1371 Tumblr Followers (up 1.11%.)

Oil company executives are on Capitol Hill today to blame everyone but themselves for the Gulf of Mexico oil spill.

With so many ways to boycott the state for its new immigration law, Arizonans are worried that in the Phoenix area, businesses could lose $90 million over the next fives years from an image problem of "unprecedented proportions." [Arizona Republic]

The state is attracting homeless people from the mainland US by offering food, a bed, and health care for just $3 a day. But not everyone is happy. Of course Obama's alleged home state would support such a socialist program.

Need help finding a neighborhood to live in? The state Department of Health yesterday introduced its new cancer map that lets you see how many people in each census block have cancer, and what types of hazardous materials are nearby.

Police in Billings, Montana, are looking for two young men suspected of attacking medical marijuana dispensaries with molotov cocktails and spray painting "NOT IN OUR TOWN" on the walls. Clinic owners say they won't be intimidated by these thugs. [AP]

Tonight, Jon Stewart continued his satirical look at the election of Britain's next Prime Minister and commented on the "hung parliament," before bringing in John Oliver to try to explain why things had ended up how they had. Video inside.

["For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life." Yes, that is Mickey Mouse, crucified in a Shanghai Beijing mall. Pic via Shangahiist.]

According to a new book, Carla Bruni told the First Lady that she and President Sarkozy had made a head of state wait while they had sex. Michelle apparently "laughed nervously." Some situations, not even Michelle Obama can save. [ABC]

Gordon "Dreamweaver" Brown is resigning as Labour Party leader, and his replacement could very well be the next Prime Minister. So the question is: Why spell "Labour" with a "U"? No, wait. The question is: Who's his replacement?