Retired-model-turned-Oprah-wannabe Tyra Banks is writing her first novel, Modelland. It will be part of a trilogy, since Random House signed her to a three-book deal. Oh, goodie! The details sound scary and fierce, like Tyra in a jumpsuit.

The gang attended party filled with notable media-folk (like Will Shortz and Arianna Huffington) where Ted felt he'd found his people, Lily and Marshall addressed their baby-fever, and most importantly, headed to "Robots Vs. Wrestlers," where they discovered Ted's look-alike.

We hope you're all as excited for this movie as we are. Kristen Wiig was kind enough to shed insight into the filming process and her sex scene with Grubes himself. Bonus: one-second trailers created by Jorma Taccone.

Oh, the Byzantine mechanics these Upper East Side scamps employ to enact their social schemes. There was lying, cheating, and stealing last night, but all in the name of good. Actually, it was more in the name of stupid.

In your holy Tuesday media column: Rupert Murdoch bathes his children in shit, David Brooks' wild undergrad antics exposed, Google has irrational hope for online ads, Playboy goes 3-D, and Donna Brazile is tired of hearing herself talk.

Apple CEO Steve Jobs is "coping well with his health issues" and working full tilt, but he's struggling to put on weight, say associates. That sounds about right : It takes a vigorous man to piss this many people off.

[Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones entering the Wall Street-centric Robin Hood Foundation gala at the Jacob K. Javits Convention Center last night, which raised a record $88 million "to feed and clothe the city's destitute." Image via Splash.]

Why didn't Kate die after being shot in the shoulder last week? Why is her name scratched off the list of candidates? Why are the creators of Lost so damn secretive about everything? The real-life Kate gives us her take.

Drunk-driving secret second-family-having politico Vito Fossella may run for his old congressional seat. American dream!

Celebrity robbery is a status symbol, but actress Amanda Peet isn't famous enough to fall victim to it, according to a juror who acquitted her accused robber yesterday: "We didn't really consider her a Nicole Kidman or anything like that."

The musician who's named after a family dinner staple dropped by The Today Show to promote his new album (out today.) Unfortunately, his incoherent speech and wacky antics made us wonder if he hit the sauce Kathie Lee-style.

Walking away from your hopelessly underwater mortgage: everyone's doing it! But a new study says that these "strategic" defaults ("strategic"= commonsensical) are driven by anger and fear, not rational calculation. Well. There are plenty of reasons to be angry.

Linguists say Queens' dialect has disappeared, seamlessly absorbed into the roiling pit of grotesque guttural utterances of New York at large. Fran Drescher begs to differ. No, seriously, that "melodious and mellifluous" quote is from her. [NYDN, Image: Getty]

In this clip from The Mighty Boosh's third season, Vince meets The Crack Fox and learns of his idyllic forest origins and sad descent into drug and dance fueled depravity. Ah, the meth-skewed mirror of the uncanny valley.

A Nepalese immigrant who grew up in poverty and worked for decades as the butler to a prominent Upper West Side family has been willed an $8.4m estate by his late boss, actress Ruth Ford. Ford's daughter was, erm, disinherited.

Ladies, when living with men always check your appliances before use. And remember, all guys are jerks.

Scientists speak: "consuming two handfuls of nuts a day appears to work better than one."

Days after her highly-rated turn hosting SNL, Facebook campaigns have already started to get Betty White to host the Emmys and Oscars. First of all, the internet petition strategy only works once. Second: She's 88. Let her catch her breath!

Restaurateurs of New York, beware: Do not open a late-night spot anywhere near Georgette Fleischer. The downtown scold, a Barnard professor, has just successfully had hotspot La Esquina closed down because of code violations. And this isn't her first victory.

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