Here is a video montage showing only the fights from the first episode of the ABC reboot of BattleBots. Why not!

A new video, reportedly released by ISIS, appears to show 25 soldiers being executed at the amphitheater in Palmyra, Syria. The men’s executioners look to be boys in their teens. The video has not yet been independently verified.

“The European financial system was architected to make lending to Greece — and Spain and Portugal and Italy — a money machine for bankers... [who] understood perfectly well that there was in fact a long-term risk, an uncertainty, a constructive ambiguity.” Gosh, this all sounds awfully familiar.

My mama is 79. Wednesday night is her bible study. Just like Ms. Ethel Lee Lance, mama has her circle of church going elders—black women in their 60s, 70s, and 80s for whom church is home. Maybe even safer than home. Their pain was safe in the hands of this particular Jesus. Unshed tears from the Middle Passage were here. Friendships decades deep were here. Sanctuary was here. Comfort, too. Prayers unheard by a black community too often deaf to the pain of black girls and women were heard here, by this Jesus. Or so they thought.

The San Bernardino County Sheriff’s Department is investigating the death of Christian Siqueiros, who died in police custody on Thursday, NBC Los Angeles reports. Siqueiros was arrested after the Montclair Police Department received a disturbance report from someone in his former apartment building.

“Officer Otero thought his participation would help show the boys that officers were human, too, but he said he ended up learning more than he expected.” Happy to hear it, Officer Otero.

On Saturday, police in the Philippines said that they had filed murder complaints against the owner, captain, and crew of a ferry that capsized off Ormoc City this week, the Associated Press reports. The local prosecutor will review the complaints and decide whether to file charges.

As a U.S. American, just how terrified should you be this weekend about terrorism? “The vigilance surrounding this year’s celebration carries added weight,” according to NBC News. “The reason is ISIS.” Uh oh! Pretty terrified, it sounds like.

On Thursday, at the Aspen Ideas Festival, in an on-stage conversation with actress Goldie Hawn, former Disney CEO Michael Eisner postulated that the rarest kind of person is a woman who is both beautiful and funny. “From my position, the hardest artist to find is a beautiful, funny woman,” Eisner said.

“Adding Trey to the mix is just going to bring in a bunch of Phish fans (no offense guys) that just don’t get us Deadheads.” The Sixties are over, man.

At the summer Consumer Electronics Show in 1991, Sony announced that it was jumping into the video game hardware market for the first time, partnering with Nintendo to release something called a “PlayStation.” The device never made it to market—for reasons I’ll explain shortly—but someone on reddit may have come across a very rare prototype.

The subreddit at the eye of the shitstorm currently spreading across Internet hellhole Reddit.com, r/IAmA, has come back online after being set as private for less than a day.

America’s First Teen, Malia Obama, is interning this summer for Lena Dunham on the set of Girls, TMZ reports.

Three days after the late, big-dicked Richard Matt escaped from Clinton Correctional Facility, his daughter received a letter from him. “I always promised you I would see you on the outside. I’m a man of my word,” it read, according to the Buffalo News.

There is, among a particular cohort of New York City transplants, a belief that we hold dear. It is entirely based on our collective upbringing in a coastal city, small town, or neighborhood not named Manhattan, Brooklyn, or whatever other boroughs make up this fair metropolis. This belief: New York City-area beaches are not real beaches.

Hours after authorities announced that all 187 passengers and crew members aboard a ferry that capsized in the Philippines had been accounted for, rescuers recovered five more bodies, the Associated Press reports. This brings the death toll to 50.

On Thursday, state health officials announced that a Washington woman has died of measles, becoming the first American to be killed by the disease since 2003, the Associated Press reports.

If you tried to visit r/IAmA (one of Reddit’s biggest subs) recently, you were probably greeted by the image above. And if you’ve been absolutely anywhere else on the site at all in the past few hours, you probably noticed that everyone is flipping their collective shit over speculation that Victoria Taylor, the high-profile coordinator that kept IAmA afloat, was suddenly and mysteriously fired. Also, something about Jesse Jackson.

Manhattan eatery Per Se—named the best restaurant in the city by The New York Times and the third most expensive restaurant in the world by The Daily Meal—has agreed to pay waitstaff $500,000 for allegedly withholding money from workers that a “reasonable patron” would consider to be tips, Reuters reports.

Today, Honduran-American actor America Ferrera expressed her gratitude to Asshole-American Donald Trump in the form of an open letter, thanking the odious toilet-man for “igniting a fire” in the Latino community with his recent, incredibly racist comments about Mexican immigrants.