TONIGHT: Season premieres of Cake Boss, The Best Thing I Ever Ate and True Beauty plus new episodes of The Real Housewives of NJ, Nurse Jackie and The Bachelorette.

Fleet Week in New York is not all hunky sailors. As part of a series of military aircraft demonstrations, a Navy Osprey plane landed in a Staten Island park, sending debris falling onto spectators. Video inside.

The White House cancelled President Obama's Memorial Day speech at Abraham Lincoln National Cemetery in Chicago due to "heavy rain" and "lightning." Possible right-wing talking point: The ghosts of American soldiers refused to be memorialized by a Kenyan Muslim. [ABC]

Congratulations to qbgabe12 for being the first person to answer today's Freeze Frame. Click through for the answer.

This preview of CBS's Hawaii Five-O was shocking—we weren't expecting the how to look appealing at all. The cast is a Sci-Fi lover's dream, featuring Jin from Lost, Battlestar Galactica.'s Sharon Valerii, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer's Spike.

[These people apparently used a small tactical nuke to prime their grill. Happy Memorial Day, everyone. Take care of yourselves out there. (Pic via Churba's Flickr)]

So, "top kill," BP's last-ditch effort to seal up their oil leak in the Gulf of Mexico, has failed. Now that our best chance for stopping the leak didn't work, what's next? And what sexy nickname will it have?

"Don't swim in the ocean, you'll get [tar] balls in your mouth," sang Fallon during Friday night's Late Night broadcast. Despite the humorous tone, the song of protest resonates with those of us angry about the spill.

Marina Abramovic's weeks-long performance art piece ends today. It raised important questions about the nature of art. They will probably never be answered. What's certain, though, is that an audience member made themselves vomit, and another stripped nude today.

This BMX kid attempts to ride his bike on a treadmill. I'm assuming he's never heard of a stationary bike.

Apple has sold more than two million iPads since the tablet computer debuted on April 3, freeing at least that many people from the oppressive shackles of pornography and the tyranny of Flash-based web video. [CNET]

Due to production delays, Director Guillermo del Toro (Pan's Labyrinth) won't direct the two-part film adaptation of The Hobbit. He'll still co-write the script with Peter Jackson, but we had high hopes for del Toro's Middle Earth. Oh well. [AP]

Showtime's latest venture is a series about a woman diagnosed with cancer looking to make everything count. Featuring a powerful performance by Laura Linney, the show will undoubtedly be a hit.

Horst Köhler, Germany's center-right president, resigned after pointing out that Germany will deploy troops to protect its economic interests.

In the case that you didn't shovel in a ton of food on this Memorial Day, you can feed your need for cake tonight on TLC. Cake Boss is back with an episode that celebrates the bakery's 100th anniversary.

Australian hacker Julian Assange, Wikileaks' silver-coiffed leader, increasingly appears to be the main character in a Web 2.0 Mad Max sequel. His past includes a carefree childhood, escaping a cult and motorcycling around Vietnam.

Would you like to hear the romantic story of "James" and "Maura," the Irish couple who fell in love and had a child after meeting at a nightclub? What if I told you that "James" and "Maura" were half-siblings?

In light of recent failures by BP to stop their oil leak, perhaps it's time to get aggressive. In this archival footage, the Soviets used a nuke to stop a leaking gas well. We're so screwed.

Thinking of pranking a roommate? Well, if you happen to sleep on a top bunk, you may want to think again. The possibilities for your payback are probably pretty painful.

IAC CEO Barry Diller expensed $1.6 million in personal travel in 2009. ($4,600/day!) That doesn't include business trips—just vacations. Welcome to MogulAir. Would you like a blanket and a pillow made out of diamonds? [NYP]