Three days in jail can seem like a lifetime. So before 24-year-old Gavin Stanger surrendered to authorities in Washington state for a misdemeanor disorderly conduct charge, he crammed some goodies up his ass to help pass the time.

Two more episodes left until the season finale! And last week's episode set the stages for a massive, Jenga-like topple in last two installments.

Patton Oswalt explains why he thinks jokes about George Bush are easy. Then, he makes a bunch of George Bush jokes.

You can always count on Iran's leadership to help cool regional tensions. Today Ali Shirazi, an aid to Ayatollah Khamenei, said: "Iran's naval forces are ready to escort the peace flotilla to Gaza with all their powers and capabilities." [PressTV]

Brazil, home to the world's most celebrated butts, has invented a new dance move. It's called the Surra de Bunda ("ass licking") and it involves hooking your feet over a man's shoulders and sledgehammer slamming your butt into his face.

Today's Public Editor column in the New York Times is like a living time capsule. An ornery reader wrote in asking, basically, "What is this thing called 'blogs'" And the Times' managing editor decided to answer him.

Here are more photos of Gawker's congratulations to Rush Limbaugh, taken from a nearby plane.

Here are some more photos from our flight over Rush Limbaugh's wedding yesterday. Here's hoping the assembled guests—a list that included Karl Rove, Rudy Giuliani, Sean Hannity, and Fred Thompson—all enjoyed.

The banner over The Breakers, the hotel where the wedding was held.

God, what we would give to be Rahm Emanuel and Joe Biden. Not because of their jobs, which seem super stressful. But while we were working, they had an awesome squirt gun fight. More summer-fun pics inside.

Oh man, ever since global warming came on the scene it seems like our apocalyptic scenarios are all rising sea levels and spreading tropical disease. Now NASA has come up with an awesome new way the earth might get destroyed.

NY Post intern James Cahalan hit the jackpot: For an exposé on underage drinking, his employer sent him on a 30-stop bar crawl to see who would serve him. Byline and free booze—do summer internships get any better?

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a cult in possession of celebrities is in want of a sex scandal. That's why Scientologists have orgies and the original celebrity cult*—Catholicism—has, well, all of this. Now Kabbalah's joining in.

Everyone knows Jews are the Chosen People. By God! But now they are chosen by Sarah Palin. She's rushed to Jews' defense in response to Helen Thomas' dumb suggestion that Jews in Israel "go home" to Germany and Poland. Hallelujah!

New York Is under a tornado watch until 8 PM tonight. [Wizard of Oz joke]

[Warrior nymph Lindsay Lohan approaches a goddess of light on the beach in Malibu. Sister Ali was on set, too, but dressed like a normal person. Image via X-17 Agency.]

The demo iPads at Apple stores are like something out of The Andromeda Strain. The Daily News swabbed a couple and found staphylococcus aureus, "the most common cause of staph infections", as well as yeast and a rash-causing bacteria. [Gothamist]

Set in the Australian outback, this gritty western tells the story of a gunslinger who is promised his freedom and that of his younger brother if he completes the task of killing his older brother, a notorious outlaw.

Stephen Hill, the porn star who played Obama in Palin: Erection '08 and went on a sword-slashing rampage at his workplace, fell 50 feet to his death this morning after an eight-hour police standoff, with scores of photojournalists watching.

To prepare for her role in Iron Man 2, Gwyenth Paltrow ate nothing but kale. To prepare for violent Jihad, two New Jersey men played paintball and lifted weights, before attempting to travel to Somalia.