When the people who invest billions of dollars for a living get nervous, they tend to start stockpiling cash, anticipating a market collapse. And they are feeling very nervous now!
“It’s a thing called ring avulsion. A-V-U-L-S-I-O-N. If you Google it, it’s graphic images. Don’t Google it. But ring avulsion, it’s a real thing...,” Jimmy Fallon said last night, describing the gruesome hand injury that kept him away from his show for two weeks and will now fuel your paranoid nightmares for a lifetime. Jimmy Fallon is a silly clown who enjoys a drink from time to time, but he is absolutely correct: don’t Google it.
Some people think men choose to sit down when they pee. But I always knew I was a sit-down pee-er—even when I peed standing up.
PETA says that an activist who participated in the group’s protests against mammal prison Sea World for years was actually a Sea World employee sent to infiltrate them. “Grab your pitch forks and torches. Time to take down SeaWorld,” the whale-torturing corporate whore wrote on Facebook at one point.
I bet you thought there was only a slight chance you’d die from taking nonaspirin pain relievers like Advil, Aleve, Ibuprofen, Motrin and the like. Nope! Researchers are now saying they’re actually much more likely to kill you than they originally thought. How likely? The technical answer, I guess, is “it depends.”
An alleged horse fetishist was arrested in Phoenix Friday night after flying from Pennsylvania to meet a horse owner who’d agreed to let him have sex with a miniature horse and to make sure his clothes got soaked in fragrant horse piss. But the planned romantic rendezvous was not to be: the horse owner was an undercover sheriff’s deputy conducting a sting operation.
In 2013, one in five American children officially lived in poverty. Black children have the worst luck of all.
Back in March, a 29-year-old Vallejo, Calif., woman disappeared from her home, and her boyfriend was left tied up and drugged with a note demanding a ransom for her return. Suspicion initially fell on the boyfriend, but when the victim returned two days later and refused to cooperate with investigators, authorities thought she may have staged the whole thing, a la Gone Girl. Which brings us up to this week, when a real suspect has been charged with the “hoax” kidnapping.
The ridiculous ban preventing gay adults from leading Boy Scout groups could come to an end later this month following a unanimous vote last week by the group’s 17-member executive committee. The change will be effective immediately if its approved a meeting of the full 80-member executive board on July 27.
