In cities across America, throngs of fanboys are lined up for the new iPhone. There are too many customers, and too few of Apple's shiny new product. The chaos is rising with the summer temperature, and so is the anger.

[Barack Obama and Russian President Dmitry Medvedev stuff their faces with (open-faced?) hamburgers at Ray's Hell Burger in Arlington, Virginia this afternoon. Medvedev is now a Real American. Image via AP.]

This is one of those videos you find yourself watching more than once in disbelief that it's actually real. To save you the struggle... yes, this came from an episode of Jeopardy and yes, that's Alex Trebek singing in autotune.

After the whole c*nt fiasco, it seems like everyone at the Today Show is up on their high horse about appropriate language. When Chris Rock dropped by, Meredith was worried he was going to drop an F-bomb at any moment.

Here's famously insane Texas Rep. Louis Gohmert reading a column from prominent conservative Thomas Sowell about why Barack Obama setting up a $20 billion BP claims fund makes him literally Hitler. Thanks again for the envoy, Texas' first congressional district!

In Florida, the place where all good fights happen. Also today: Matt Damon is looking to buy a zoo, a werewolf movie finds its requisite priest, Jason Biggs is teaming up with a Gyllenhaal, and AMC has a new show.

Good Day, New York (owned by Fox) brought out a Marketwatch (owned by Fox) columnist today to read from the New York Post (owned by Fox) about why Eliot Spitzer's new CNN show is going to be horrible.

Man, it's hot.

Yesterday marked David Letterman's 30th anniversary of his television career. Dave was given his own morning comedy show on June 23rd, 1980. Two years later he began hosting Late Night on NBC, and in 1993 he started The Late Show.

Remember when BP was perceived—thanks to hundreds of millions of dollars worth of advertising—as the "green" oil company? (That was only a couple months ago). Now, Shell is seeking to grab that totally made-up title. With advertising!

The latest issue of Interview magazine features 10-year-old actress Keirnan Shipka who plays Sally Draper on Mad Men dressed up like an Upper East Side dowager four times her age. We knew Betty was a bad mother, but damn.

Heidi Klum was on Jimmy Fallon last night and the host wistfully submitted to letting her dissect his past red carpet fashions. Turns out the SNL alum stumbled upon some forward-thinking trends, but not enough to stem the fashionista's criticisms.

Tareq and Michaela Salahi will not be ignored. America's most famous uninvited guests are writing a book with pedophile-nabbing reporter Diane Dimond. It will feature "behind-the-scenes" details from the time they caused a national disaster by social-climbing too hard. [P6]

Watch this video of a daring face-off between OK Go's drummer and Animal from the Muppets. It's the best Zach Galifianakis-approved, Ira Glass-featuring high stakes staring match you'll ever see.

Oyez! Oyez! Oyez! All persons having interest in Top Chef Season 7 DC, are admonished to draw near and give their attention, for the season is now screening. God save Tom and his younger Doppelganger.

After three days and 11 hours of play, American John Isner finally beat France's Nicolas Mahut, 70-68. His reward: Stumbling to his second-round Wimbledon match this afternoon, to play again. [StragithSets, image via AP]

Men are forsaking strippers in favor of suckling pigs at their bachelor parties. Minivans are now supposed to be "macho." Social scientists say that men are "redefining success." Yea, redefining it to suck.

Day three of Gawker.TV Trivia, a daily question & answer game that tests your knowledge of television—past and present. The answer to today's question, inside.

The Supreme Court "limited the use of the 'honest services' fraud law" in a decision today, granting an appeals victory to former Enron executive Jeffrey Skilling. Good, because we have way too many white collar criminal prosecutions these days...??

Last night on Jimmy Kimmel's Twilight-themed extravaganza, he asked the unthinkable: what would happen if R Pattz, K Stew, and the ever-shirtless Taylor Lautner were replaced with the guidos and guidettes of Jersey Shore?