Now that Barack Obama is the Worst President of All Time, which Republican do you most want to vote for in 2012? How about "corpulent" Mississippi Gov. Haley Barbour, eh? He's "discreetly building a complex political operation," right now!

In our attempt to defame each of America's fifty states (we've already insulted New Jersey and Michigan), we turn today to Florida, where incredibly dumb things frequently happen. Like dogs running over humans and babies getting caught smoking weed.

Props to the AmberWatch organization for not taking the easy way out and showing a bunch of kids getting kidnapped for their PSA. Instead they went with moms shooting off machine guns. Here's hoping this doesn't promote violence among mothers?

Any mystery about why tech companies feel free to plunder, lose and even illegally appropriate your personal data should be cleared up by observing how lightly the Federal Trade Commission spanked Twitter for losing control of 35 high-profile accounts.

Congratulations to Lazarou for being the first person to answer today's Freeze Frame. Click through for the answer.

Today at Gawker.TV, Heidi Klum critiques Jimmy Fallon's past red carpet outfits, Landon Donovan proves to be very likable, Jersey Shore does Twilight, and Alex Trebek sings in autotune in a new Jeopardy category.

Betty White seems like a nice lady, and it's treason to speak ill of her these days, but even her biggest fans have to admit that the role of hip geriatric is a tired one, just ask the Simpsons.

Here is Hot In Cleveland, which may some day rank as one of humanity's greatest crimes.

The Way We Live Now: Resurrecting ourselves through gambling. You can win big money gambling! It's the quickest fix! First, outlaw begging. Then move welfare recipients into casinos. Then, sell the casino to private equity. Everybody...wins!

Because of the riot at last week's South Street Seaport concert for Hanson and rapper Drake, organizers have cancelled two more concerts including one by horrible pop act Ke$ha. We never thought we'd say this, but thanks Hanson!

North Korea is starving so badly that it had to re-open private markets last week. Now it wants $65 trillion from the United States as compensation for decades of "hostility." Well we have about $4.06 in our pockets... everyone else?

Jeremy Piven stopped by The Tonight Show to discuss the upcoming season of Entourage. Leno and Piven played a prank on an Entourage-loving intern. Even though it's scripted, Piven is still kind of a dick.

Those sitting out in the sun today for a new iPhone might have waited hours or overnight. They are wimps. Twilight fans have been camped out since Monday for tonight's premiere. They will show you how it's done!

It was a crime of infinite ridiculousness: Dressed in a sumo wrestling suit, Sandra Talbot assaulted her ex-girlfriend with her own girth and a bottle of Smirnoff Ice, vengeance for flirting with a man dressed as giant Snickers bar.

This week on Work of Art, the artists had to create cover art for classic novels. For Jaclyn, who got "Pride and Prejudice," this meant doing a topless photoshoot, because nothing says Jane Austen more than naked ladies!

Hey homeskillets! We know you like to keep fly with the freshest and dopest threads. Tell us all your shopping secrets by taking our 2010 Fashion Survey. Do it, and a $150 Shopbop gift card could be yours. This post brought to you by 1991.

Every gay man's favorite magazine, A&F Quarterly, is back after seven years. Of course, the Bruce Weber photos are full of bare asses and other beautiful body parts. It comes out July 17, but you can start drooling now, perv.

Chicago has been soaked with rain for the last week or so, but the storms provided a gift for the rest of us—a gorgeous, slowed-down video of lightening striking three buildings at the same time. Video inside.

Who let this guy announce that day, anyway? If I had heard that live I would've been more worried about whether or not the guy was going to keel over than the winner of the race.

In your hateful Thursday media column: CNN staffers hate Eliot Spitzer, Newsweek hates China, a former Newsday editor moves to NY1, the NYT gets itself a fancy "Tumblr," and whites spotted on the teevee.

These two sisters scored big last night on America's Got Talent by singing their way to Las Vegas, despite both having Cystic Fibrosis. Watch as they describe the challenges facing them, then proceed to rock the house.