If Bill O'Reilly was upset about a harmless gay-themed French commercial for McDonalds just wait until he sees this insane spot for Orangina where a humanoid mountain lion shaves and then embraces his gay lover. Um, what?

Remember Elvira Grau from Monday night's episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey? She was the mean but extremely talented (colored lights on the outside of the house? Rococohhh) party planner who is claiming to be the new cast member.

In this classic Man Show bit, Kimmel and Carolla decide that people are too weird about hunting. Watch as they place a mechanical deer on top of a car at a truck stop and shout out to people passing by.

Landon Donovan's interview on this morning's Early Show was everything you'd expect: shout-outs to YouTubes, an overly enthusiastic Harry Smith and exclamations of 'Dude!' Yet Donovan is repping the US and its nice to know he's pretty grounded.

Last night's episode of Tosh.0 showcased some "unique" forms of dancing from around the world that all severely resembled dry-humping. Daniel Tosh decides to try out daggering, dick slang and butt-pounding around the office. Hilarity ensues.

Assuming beaches these days still allow alcohol to be consumed on them, here's an easy way to turn your your warm twelve pack of Natty Light into a slightly less disgusting drink.

"Don't bother going to a voodoo priest. He can't help you. Don't bother calling Obama. He can't help you, either. Just give us money, or we will kill the girl."—Haitian rapist/ kidnappers' demands. Life's really not fair. [NYT]

It's Helen Mirren day, apparently! Here's a trailer for RED (Retired, Extremely Dangerous), an action comedy about retired CIA agents who are, of course, drawn back into the game when shit starts to go haywire. Look at that cast!

For those not in the know, Glenn Beck has a rally planned in DC on the same date and location of Dr. King's "I have a dream" speech. See how far your jaw can drop by watching this clip.

Watch as the silly animals knock over the elaborate domino arrangements painstakingly set up by their Japanese foes. Which species will prevail?

This actress wants her ex to get her pregnant. Better stay away from this actor who has a fetish for expecting ladies. This singer should expect trouble after cheating on the eve of her engagement. It's the circle of life.

First they said that strollers are unsafe. Then they said that baby slings are unsafe. Then they said some brands of cribs were unsafe. Now: all the rest of the cribs are unsafe.

[Helen Mirren and Bai Ling at the premiere of "Love Ranch" in Hollywood; image via Splash]

Man drifts a mile off Florida on pool float. Authorities: "the man was very drunk."

Even kiddos love daytime TV! Watch as this boy does his best Maury Povich impersonation, minus the one-legged strippers and thirteen year old mothers.

Andrea Peyser is but a simple tabloid sex columnist. But she knows one thing: well, she doesn't know what she "knows," because that would be an epistemological question (epistemology=bad). But she's against filling kids' minds with trash like "thoughts."

"Miserable" Britney seeks solace with a sleazy ex-boyfriend. Kim Kardashian has a new beau. Robert Pattinson "just took a shit on the Queen's face." (Sort of.) Lindsay Lohan's ex-assistant remains loyal. Thursday gossip will stab you in the back.

Can you guess what movie this image comes from? Check back for the answer at 4pm today.

Three American hikers who were arrested last summer—and who are still being held for allegedly crossing into Iranian territory—were in Iraq when they were captured by Iranian security forces, according to a five month investigation by The Nation.

Texas, a state run by a secessionist governor, is getting an unmanned drone to patrol the border with Mexico.