The FDA is "seriously considering" approval for a new genetically engineered salmon that grows at twice the normal rate. Yes, AquAdvantage® Fish will revolutionize the way American's eat sketchy, lab grown food. Also being developed: Pigs that shit less-toxic shit.

Belgian police on Thursday raided Catholic church offices in Brussels searching for evidence of child sex abuse by priests. The Vatican called it a "shock," because priests only answer to a Higher Authority. The laws of mortals do not apply.

Did you know the British loved anthropomorphised ducks in the eighties just as much as we did? This spinoff of Dangermouse was more Dudley Moore than Scrooge McDuck, but anyone can appreciate a vampire duck.

Rescued 16-year-old sailor Abby Sunderland arrived on the Indian Ocean island of Réunion last night.

Nick explains just some of the reasons why he is looking forward to aging gracefully into his early nineties.

[A ceremonial hat and glove adorned Michael Jackson's plaque in front of the Apollo Theater today where a memorial for the anniversary of his death was held. Image via Getty]

Taiwanese company NMA made us laugh before with their animated reenactments of the Tiger Woods scandal and the Jay Leno/Conan O'Brien Late Night Wars. Now, Al Gore's "crazed sex poodle" masseuse scandal has been digitized for our entertainment. Video inside.

This was a week of strange news, of sad news, and of news that got people fired. Let's take a look back.

North Korea was defeated handily by the Ivory Coast today, 3-0. Having not won a single game, our favorite squad of plucky autocratic regime subjects are returning home. There they'll face hard labor or an outpouring of nationalist appreciation.

Joan Holloway is a woman of many talents. Among them: Modeling felted wool scarves on DIY shopping site Etsy. That's what "best-looking woman in America" Christina Hendricks is doing here, for a $130 scarf made by a friend. [Wrap]

Your daily look into the twitterific lives life of our favorite celebs my favorite celeb, the original MIB.

Fergie is reportedly "on the verge" of leaving the Black Eyed Peas because Will.i.am's ego "is out of control." Also, she wants to get pregnant, which would be disastrous for her stage persona given her infamous bladder control issues. [Radar]

Today we took a look at the Little Fockers trailer, the third part in the popular Meet the Parents laffapalooza series. You know there will be a fourth, and one commenter has a head start on figuring out a title.

Here are Woody Allen's six favorite Woody Allen movies: Purple Rose of Cairo, Match Point, Bullets Over Broadway, Zelig, Husbands and Wives, and Vicky Cristina Barcelona. Maybe Woody thought the interviewer asked for "six of his movies"? [New York]

The Way We Live Now: expanding our horizons. This economy won't get better any time soon. It's time we start looking for new, horrific opportunities. Immigrant farmworker? Bedbug lawyer? Soda tax-er? It's all "on the table." (Table not included).

WWE chief and Connecticut Senate candidate Linda McMahon is trying to head off attacks about her running such a trashy company for so many years. In this ad, she says WWE is "soap opera," but real problems are real. Nifty!

Jimmy Kimmel and Drake prove to be an unstoppable duo as they sing " Tweet, Tweet", a beautiful and relevant song that explores celebrities and the current Twitter phenomenon.

Breaking Bad won't return until July 2011, Jason Segel has some interesting ideas on what to do with his character on HIMYM, Johnny Lee Miller joins the cast of Dexter, and what in the world is Guy Fieri doing?

Santa Monica is currently being terrorized by an alleged environmentally conscious sex offender. (Not Al Gore.) The Bike-by groper! According to police, he "has been riding his bicycle by females and grabbing their bums, crotch and breasts." Stop it. [LAWeekly]

If you are a opposite-gender lover you may not know this is Gay Pride Weekend in New York. You should come join the party! But first, here are a few things you need to know before joining the fun.