On a Monday night flight from Atlanta, some spoiled meat in a carry-on bag in an overhead compartment showered maggots on passengers, thus forcing the plane to return to the gate. No wonder flights need more cocktails.

On last night's show, the Blue Team got trashed before, during and after their trip to a vineyard. Drunks fell everywhere, dares were made, and someone got naked in the hot tub. What is this? Spring Break, Hell's Kitchen Edition?

Have you been watching Elena Kagan and some senators trade canned platitudes about The Law this week? Yeah, same here. But let's give Kagan credit for getting senators to stop comparing justices to "umpires" who call "balls and strikes."

Today we looked at how guns are keeping us mentally healthy. That is just pure fact! One commenter heartily agreed and said, hey, why stop at guns?

Not willing to let Huggies corner the market on fashionable disposable garments for children to shit in, Pampers is introducing a collaboration with designer Cynthia Rowley. The diapers will come in a ruffle print and madras. God, madras! Really?

A British scientist says he's discovered a secret code in the works of the ancient Greek philosopher Plato. What is "the hidden philosophy of Plato"? And how can we market it?

Here's a video listicle of the hundred best put-downs, insults, and slams in cinema. If you're feeling like you need some negative reinforcement today, this is the video for you. There's everything from Wizard of Oz to Glengarry Glen Ross.

What the hell, Starz. Way to go and cancel the only good thing about your network. This is some bullshit. The Twitterverse thinks so, too.

If this is what happens when she goes number one, i don't even want to know what goes on with number two. Thankfully Dr. Oz is there to help out this poor woman.

Frodo is back and smaller than ever! He's on the small screen, that is. Also today: happy employment for Angela Bassett, confusing employment for Heather Graham, upsetting employment for Ashley Greene, and sad unemployment for a bunch of Starz actors.

[Elvish maid Lady Peaches of Geldof, daughter of Sir Bob Geldof and the thing known as Gollum, shows off her new nose ring on the streets of Los Angeles. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

At Elana Kagan's senate confirmation, Sen. Amy Klobuchar from Minnesota was asking the tough questions to the Supreme Court nominee.

British oil trader Steven Perkins came home drunk one night last year, went online, and lost $10 million while trading oil futures. Now that vintage G.I. Joe you bought on Ebay while drunk doesn't seem so bad. [NYT, pic]

This morning, after attempting to read through his teleprompter unsuccessfully—and many times)—Fox & Friends co-host Brian Kilmeade was helped by one of his behind-the-scenes crew members. Hopefully, that guy will get a place on the couch soon.

Elijah Wood heads to cable television, IFC will begin airing Freaks & Geeks and Undeclared, meet the new Big Brother cast, and ...NOOOOOO!!!... in a heartbreaking turn of events—Party Down has been canceled.

Lightning does strike twice! (Har har.) In this video, a huge bolt touches down just feet from a woman and, while she frantically reacts—she may actually be louder than the thunder—the lightning comes back for seconds. Video inside.

Christopher Hitchens, who'd suspended his book tour for "personal reasons," has been diagnosed with cancer.

Crystal Gail Magnum, the woman who falsely accused members of the Duke lacrosse team of raping her, held a crazy press conference in her yard today to announce that new charges against her—of arson and attempted murder—are false.

Rescue Me returned for it's sixth season last night, and a lot has changed since we last saw the boys of Ladder 62. Thankfully, their dependency on alcohol is not one of them.

Fresh on the heels of its massively successful "Our pizza sucked so bad, but not any more" ad campaign, Domino's is back with a new promotion: "Our ads are super fake, as well." What about the awful desserts, though? [Adfreak]