[A photographer captures Queen Elizabeth of England and her boy-toy Phil in Ottawa, watching a dancer and wondering why they colonized the bloody continent in the first place. Pic via Getty.]

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D - NV) is fighting a tough re-election campaign against former Nevada Assemblywoman Sharron Angle. "Tough," partly because he has high unfavorables. And partly because Sharron Angle keeps doing things like encouraging his assassination.

Remember the email exchange from earlier today where Steve Jobs purportedly called iPhone 4 signal problems "rumors"? A "top Apple spokesman" says that it's fake, and Jobs said none of of the things being attributed to him. [Fortune]

Toyota is recalling 270,000 Lexus sedans in Japan due to engine problems.

Scientists have analyzed the DNA of geriatric New Englanders and believe they have discovered the genetic markers that predict extreme longevity. And because you are morbidly curious, you will soon be able to test yourself for those markers!

David Cross lets you in on a game to play next time you're eating at a restaurant. Warning: Be prepared to tip.

Juan Lazaro, one of the alleged Russian spies arrested earlier this week, told feds that he is not actually Uruguayan; not, in fact, named "Juan Lazaro"; and would not betray "the Service," which had, uh, bought him a house. [CNN]

About 50 young conservatives gathered outside the Supreme Court today to protest what they say will be one of the defining political moments of their generation — the nomination of Elena Kagan to the U.S. Supreme Court.

[A shot from the Capitol in Washington today as the casket of Senator Robert Byrd is removed from the building and placed into a hearse. He was the nation's longest-serving congressman before his death on Monday. Image via Getty]

Shouldn't major corporate lobbyists be approaching a crisis of conscience soon? Never! Here's the latest, greatest news for the common man: two of Washington's biggest lobbying firms have joined forces, casting a dark shadow of Evil across the Capitol.

Jorma Taccone and Akiva Schaffer make this monotone, comedic rap, about two loser-ish guys who think they're cool, absolutely adorable. Special appearance by Andy Samberg as Steve, who is a c*nt.

Taiwanese newspaper Apple Daily has weighed in with another one of its animated re-creations, this time of a fat and angry Al Gore roughing up that masseuse in Portland. Bill Clinton even makes a cameo.

Today we warned you about the hordes of rabid raccoons roaming Central Park. This prompted two of you commenters to tell us your own harrowing raccoon tales.

If you've never seen Jeffery & Cole Casserole, the LOGO show spawned from Jeffery Self and Cole Escola's funny YouTube sketch videos, you're missing out. Inside, watch two ~preview~ clips from the show's second season, premiering July 9 at midnight.

Your daily look into the twitterific lives of our favorite [Canadian or Canadian-friendly] celebs.

A match made in hell New Jersey: Chaunce Hayden, editor of famously terrible Jersey nightlife rag Steppin' Out, and Jon Gosselin ex turned Steppin' Out star Hailey Glassman are launching a "wild, open, honest" livestreaming web TV show this week.

July 1st means new taxes start, and yay here's our favorite: the New York City cigarette tax has gone up once again, now making NYC cigarettes the highest taxed in the country. Average pack price in town is now $10.80.

Shepard Smith wants everyone to have a nice Fourth of July weekend, but to avoid swimming while drunk. But do consume a ton of spiked watermelons, at least that's what Shep's going to do.

Today, The Doctors discuss the Tummy Tub, a European bucket like bath seat that is supposed to relax babies and put an end to their crying. The Doctors have split opinions about the Tummy Tub when it comes to safety.

Everyone in Finland is now legally entitled to high-speed internet access, the commie-socialists announced today.