[Barack Obama, Joe Biden, Bill Clinton and half of the U.S. Senate dutifully attend Sen. Robert Byrd's memorial service today at the Charleston, West Virginia state capitol. This is totally screwing up their four-day weekend plans. Image via AP]

America's birthday is just days away and in the spirit of patriotism Jimmy Kimmel allows strangers on Hollywood Boulevard to sing their interpretations of the Star Spangled Banner. Evidently, nobody in this Country actually knows the words to this song.

An author named Molly Ringle has won the 2010 Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, which awards the worst opening sentence of an imaginary novel every year. We can see why what she wrote is bad, but is it that bad?

As the Housewives star is entering her seventh month, she's realizing finding clothes in her closet to fit is a challenge. Watch as Bethenny decides wearing only a shirt will do just fine for her bridal shower.

This video is a cinematic study of "man smacks," a social phenomenon that allows dudes to affectionately embrace in a totally-not-gay way. From I Love You Man to The Sopranos, we're not convinced that it's a legitimate thing.

The Netherlands beat Brazil 2-1 in the World Cup quarterfinals. At 2:30: Ghana vs. Uruguay.

A Chicago woman has filed suit against MTV, parent company Viacom, and Jersey Shore pugilists Snooki and JWOWW after the dynamic duo beat the snot out of her at a Miami club in what appears to be a territorial dispute.

Hilarious RNC chair Michael Steele apparently doesn't know his party's position on the Afghanistan war. Yesterday, Steele called the war one of Obama's choice that's unnecessary and not winnable. Agreed! Steele's flacks have now taken to mop duty.

Statistics assembled by England's Office of National Statistics show that Britons live on average 10 years longer than in the 1970s. They're also much fatter, and alcohol-related deaths have doubled since the 1990s. Happier and (somehow) healthier! [Telegraph]

On last night's Daily Show new correspondent Olivia Munn explained how the recent spy case involving Russia is like Cold War Comfort Food for disillusioned Americans.

Second week of Gawker.TV Trivia, a daily question & answer game that tests your knowledge of television—past and present. The answer to today's question, inside.

Take a look at the $25,000-a-month Los Angeles mansion that pop supernova Lady Gaga is currently renting. There's a spa, a wetbar, six bedrooms, and eight bathrooms. It's huge. There's even a room for Alejandro!

You've submitted more questions to Arthur Kade. Today they've all been answered. Video inside!

Daily Profile: Naomi Campbell

Why would she do that to that poor guy? That was seriously dangerous....still very funny, but very dangerous!

iPhone users: You have been living a lie! A LIE! Apple says that the formula it uses for calculating signal bars has been wrong for years, and that this is the cause of the iPhone 4's mysterious reception problems.

Obama's accusations about John Boehner being "out of touch" led Stephen to realize that Snooki isn't the only one to be hit hard by the upcoming tanning tax. Is it racist because the House minority leader is a "Tangelo-American?"

Did you feel sorry for Rod Blagojevich, who just wanted to sell one measly U.S. Senate seat to pay his kids' college tuition and meet mortgage payments? Don't. He also blew $400,000 on clothes as Illinois governor.

Can you not afford a camera but want to take illicit stalkery photos of celebs you see around town? This guide teaches you how to make a pinhole camera so you can pursue your "art".

Oh this is cute and seems vaguely like a story from the early 1990s. A Spokane, WA couple is paying for their wedding using the $3,800 they made from recycling 400,000 cans. They have a website, here.