A couple's chances of divorce are increased by 75% if a close friend or colleague of one partner gets a divorce, according to researchers. Does this mean that Al Gore, Tiger Woods, and Kelsey Grammar are bros? [Daily Mail]

Prince, who wrote "Darling Nikki" and can now do whatever he wants as far as we're concerned, has officially declared the internet "completely over," in an interview with the Daily Mirror. It was fun while it lasted, we guess.

Hillary Clinton, trying to allay Georgian fears about U.S.-Russian relations: "We can walk and chew gum at the same time." Okay.

I said Bristol Palin was bad when I posted the teaser for her The Secret Life of the American Teenager acting debut, but the full scene is even more excruciating. Palin is like a malfunctioning robot FROM HELL. Video inside.

American painter Edward Hopper told people that the diner in his iconic painting "Nighthawks" was "suggested by a restaurant on Greenwich Avenue where two streets meet." But which two streets? And which restaurant?

Tonight, John Oliver continued his World Cup-related Daily Show segments with an examination into the lack of racism in formerly apartheid-ridden South Africa as the World Cup continues. That said, Oliver found one racist to conquer them all. Video inside.

Accusations of "fame-whoring" and emotional abuse flew, but in the end Jake was "just not that into" Vienna. It makes sense: hot dude—with perfectly-groomed eyebrows—moves to LA, begins an acting career, and forgets about his possibly cross-eyed fiancée.

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse claimed its first victim when a man in New Zealand died during an afternoon screening. Was he murdered... by Taylor Lautner's abs? The autopsy will be carried out tomorrow to find out. [news.com.au via atlasfugged]

PRI, the party that governed Mexico for seven decades, won nine of 12 open governorships in weekend elections.

People deal with loved ones' deaths in a variety of different ways. Here's one example: Jean Stevens, a 91-year-old widow, dealt with her husband's death by digging up his corpse and putting it on a couch in the garage.

Bill Hicks, from his segment that got cut from the Late Show in 1993, examines and skewers things he hates. He, a respectable gentleman, does not hate Jimi Hendrix.

Tar balls from the BP spill hit beaches around Galveston, Tex. for the first time this weekend. It may have travelled via boat. Or, it has become sentient, and heard Galveston was nice. [Houston Chronicle; picture, of Florida, via AP]

Will Ferrell and Craig Robinson bring us a song dedicated to one of the world's longest standing institutions: Bat Fight.

[Queen Elizabeth II, visiting Canada today, goes on a tour of the RIM Blackberry factory. Also today, Buckingham Palace released figures stating that the monarchy's upkeep cost $57.8 million, or 94 cents from each citizen, over the last year. Getty]

Let's face it, in this economic state most people can't afford to be spending extra money on home security. Fortunately this local commercial shows us other options.

TONIGHT: Ease in from your long weekend revelry with a new episode of the Bachelorette, the Bristol Palin guest spot on Secret Life of the American Teenager and brand new Hard Times of RJ Berger and Warren the Ape.

Despite tough talk from the White House, BP continues to pull in hundreds of millions of dollars from US military fuel contracts, and at least one new contract has been signed since the Deepwater Horizon rig explosion.

Congratulations to Stephen Murray for being the first person to answer today's Freeze Frame. Click through for the answer.

"I'm really hungry. I wanted to eat hot dogs." Former hot dog eating champ Takeru Kobayashi after being released from jail today.