Shirley Sherrod, the USDA worker whom Agriculture Secretary Tom Vilsack hastily fired following a deplorable Andrew Breitbart video hit job that made her appear racist, may be offered her job back. Soon. But now she may not even want it.

Billionaire Bill Clinton pal and vindictive perv Jeffrey Epstein completes his Palm Beach house arrest today, meaning he's officially done with his arduous sentence for paying tons of underage girls for sex. He's respectable again now. [Daily Beast]

Gawker.TV Trivia, a daily question & answer game that tests your knowledge of television—past and present. Do you think that you've got it? Check out the answer to today's question, inside.

This ad is meant to hypnotize you into purchasing Maynard Wine Chews. The only thing I want to buy after watching this is a gun to shoot that moose.

There was a time in Steve Carell's life before he was the beloved Michael Scott or even a 40 Year Old Virgin, and just a college graduate with a pervy moustache and a fife-playing Red Coat in the Revolutionary War.

Mike Bloomberg: wealthy druggie racist hypocrite (more or less).

An Air France flight attendant has confessed to 27 counts of theft after she took cash and jewelry off of passengers while they slept in first and business class. And authorities think that she's responsible for even more mile-high robberies.

On this week's Louie, Louis C.K. travels to Alabama for a show but has some trouble along the way as Airport security were none too pleased with his bottle of lubricant. Let's just hope he can smooth things over.

Page Six hears that John Boehner has had to warn a cadre of Republican congressmen about being party pals with or flirting counterparties to lobbyists, due to the important upcoming election. Why does John Boehner hate fun with sexy ladies?

[Zac Efron and his girlfriend Vanessa "She's Playing Mimi In 'Rent' Dear God" Hudgens at the premiere of "Charlie St. Cloud" in Los Angeles; image via Splash]

For discerning individuals of extraordinary taste, an ordinary showerhead simply won't suffice. The great American values of wealth, luxury, and excess demand special, superexpensive showerheads that turn your shower into a veritable Niagara Falls. Why is Barack Obama against that?

The star of Mad Men stopped by Jimmy Kimmel Live to talk about Obama's passion for the show, his double Emmy nomination, and the upcoming season. Luckily, he brought a clip of Don Draper at his finest in season 4.

A—totally faithful!—black couple recently welcomed into the world a white, blond baby, likely due to some long dormant genes. Teabaggers the nation over kicked the dirt and said "phooey" upon learning this happened in the UK, not here.

She had a meeting in the lady's room—with some crank. This celeb uses his son to score his mountains of coke, and this reality star has a gay husband. He's not on drugs though, which is nice.

They're considering Chris Isaak as a replacement for Simon Cowell! The alt-crooner has had two meetings with producers. If that's not weird, nothing is. Apparently the show is struggling to maneuver around X Factor, judges-wise. Who will end up where??

Last month, Gerald Marzorati stepped down as editor of the New York Times Magazine after seven years. Today, John Koblin dissects the reasons for Marzorati's somewhat abrupt departure. There seems to be something...between the lines, here.

Who cares about sweaters made out of recycled plastic fibers? This man takes it to the next level by making an entirely self-sufficient island paradise in Cancun floating on thousands of plastic bottles. He's even got a "washing machine"!

Being sedated after wisdom teeth removal must be awesome. You get chauffeured everywhere, people bring stuff to you, and your world is full of magical things like pancakes, shoes, and Meg Ryan. Remember that feeling when the meds wear off.

After strip and cavity searches, LiLo is in jail—and all the inmates love her! Snooki contemplates her co-stars' jealousies. Jill Zarin dips a toe into politics. Wednesday gossip is cold at first, but it warms up fast.

Hold up: Conan's category will be in Emmys after all [The Hollywood Reporter via Digg]