The greatest week of the entire year kicked off tonight with Ultimate Air Jaws, which studies why sharks breach the surface of the water while hunting seals, with some amazing slow motion shots. Four nightmare-inducing videos inside.

Singer Alicia Keys got hitched to producer Swizz Beatz in Corsica on Saturday in a ceremony performed by Deepak Chopra and attended by Queen Latifah and Bono. Because that's just what you do, when you're rich. [Page 6]

Derek Paravicini is blind, can't tell one hand from the other, and can't hold a conversation. He can, however, play any song on the piano—from memory—in any key and in any style. His incredible 60 Minutes profile, inside.

Marijuana brownies and other edibles may carry double the jail time and double the fines thanks to a vague new law aimed at drugs "marketed or packaged to appear similar to a candy product." The U.S. Senate: Harshing your buzz.

"Static kill," the first step to permanently plug the BP oil spill, could begin tomorrow.

Fox News is moving to the front row of the White House Briefing Room, beating out Bloomberg and NPR to take an empty spot occasioned by the retirement of longtime Hearst reporter Helen Thomas. And the AP moved somewhere, too!

Patton Oswalt says he is a fan of alcohol advertisements but he turns around and explains why they are the most depressing kind of advertisements.

Last week, we asked you to send us your photos from your Mad Men-themed parties. Here are our favorites, as well as others we found on the web!

Sarah Palin hit Fox News Sunday to throw her support behind Arizona in its fight over the immigration law, adding that her pal Governor "Jan Brewer has the cojones that our President does not have" to deal with immigration.

A ski-masked Georgia man, after robbing a Wendy's at gunpoint yesterday, called the restaurant twice to complain about the weak amount of cash he got from the register: "Next time there better be more than $586." [AJC]

Nepalese women shelter themselves under umbrellas while picking weeds from a paddy field south of Khatmandu today. Image via AP

A charity network released a study of gay rights around the world and the results are terrifying: 76 countries prosecute people for their sexual orientation, and seven of those use the death penalty to punish same sex acts. [Independent]

A new Gallup study on Americans and booze has some interesting facts. Did you know that young American men love beer? And that Americans like alcohol? Or that people on both coasts prefer wine? Stereotypes come true with science!

Families were merged this weekend, political dynasties and caftans glimpsed. Amidst it all our real human wedding correspondent Phyllis Nefler is here for you in ways that those livelihood-threatening marital algorithms never shall be. Stay indie!

A bunch of BP gas station owners are trying to revert back to the Amoco name, which was bought by BP, hoping to attract customers as some stations have seen a 40 percent drop in sales since the oil spill.

A Twitter user in Tokyo, @GGGGGGo_Lets_Go, today posted the networking site's 20 billionth tweet.

After Lindsay Lohan is released from jail she will check into Morningside Recovery, a facility that specializes in meth and opiate detoxification, for 90 days. A "source" told TMZ that meth and opiates are her "drugs of choice." Hmm.

Fires have been raging in Russia since last week due to record heat and dry fields and woodlands. Today, hundreds of new fires are raging and at least 28 people had died as of Wednesday. [AP]

The mayor of Seaside Heights, New Jersey loves drunk Snooki: "We're getting wonderful publicity!"

Since Wednesday evening, creepy tween website StickyDrama has been down. The site's 31-year-old pornographer/founder, Christopher Stone, has also deleted all of his tweets, and last we heard he was bound for law school. So what gives? Vulnerable children need answers!