Mary-Kate Olsen describes her childhood act as "little monkey performers." The Beach Boys threaten to sue Katy Perry. Lily Allen is pregnant. Enrique Iglesias waterskis naked. Maddox and Pax call their nanny "mom." Thursday gossip's problems go back to childhood.

Getting bonuses for shopping is like eating cake for dinner and then having ice cream for dessert—indulgent, but totally deserved. When you add the Style Pack to your ZYNC from American Express^SM Card, you can receive rewards for the purchases you make.

[Leighton Meester of "The Gossips Girl" on the New York set today; image via Splash]

Can you guess what movie this image comes from? Check back for the answer at 4pm today.

Grotesque self-serving politico scumbag and New York state senator Pedro Espada, Jr. has now been caught on tape throwing cash at protesters. Probably cash left in an unmarked bag under his desk, by crooks. Video below.

How do people in France and Britain see each other? According to a new poll, the French think Brits are "not good at" cooking, love, and dressing. Brits polled said the French are only good at "going on strike."

BP today will cement the top of the Gulf oil well after the "static kill" succeeded in stopping the oil flow. And reports now say the spill was not as bad as originally thought. Great! No harm no foul, right?

Rupert Murdoch-owned tabloid newspaper The Sun this week bought the Russian parasailing donkey, Anapka, after video of the animal hit the internet, upsetting many of its readers. "Our readers were deeply moved," correspondent Garry O'Shea told the AP.

Model Naomi Campbell testified today at the war crimes trial of former Liberian President Charles Taylor, and admitted she was given "dirty-looking stones" as a gift in 1997, alleged to be "blood diamonds" that fueled Sierra Leone's civil war.

Some idiot lit a match on an LA-bound American Airlines flight, which was then diverted to New Mexico.

A right wing advocacy group founded by radical cleric Pat Robertson yesterday sued New York over the Islamic center near Ground Zero because the city "allowed the intended use of the building and political considerations to taint the deliberative process."

Sex tapes: Not just for D-list celebrities anymore! Puerto Rican drug lord Junior Capsula (real name: Jose Figueroa Agosto) has one featuring multiple women, and it's "selling like hotcakes" in the Dominican Republic. Guanabee put together a PG clip:

Today, Shaquille O'Neal signed with the Boston Celtics in a controversial "veteran's minimum" deal. Shortly thereafter, Sports radio host Jim Rome blasted O'Neal on his web site. And tonight, O'Neal unleashed a barrage of attacks directed at Rome on Twitter.

What do you listen to when you have sex? You should be putting on this new new MP3 version of Indian sex manual the Kama Sutra, narrated by British actress Tanya Franks (pictured). Well, that, or Sade. [Guardian]

After a brief discussion of Will Ferrell's parenting skills, he and Jimmy Fallon took a stroll down memory lane and revisited their favorite SNL sketches that were cut from the show—all the times Ferrell yelled at little children.

The mansion where Michael Jackson died—TMZ has dubbed it, charmingly, "The MJ Death Mansion"—is for sale! Michael Jackson's ghost would be one of the best ghosts to have, when you think about it. [Pic via Real Estalker]

Tonight's Tosh.0 reintroduced us to the story of Christian the Lion, and then presented us with a touching tale of Tosh's own affair with his very own lion named James Van Der Beek. Unfortunately, it didn't have a happy ending.

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On the eve of first lady Michelle Obama's trip to Spain, the U.S. State Department removed an advisory warning Americans that "racist prejudices could lead to the arrest of Afro-Americans" there. So, no worries, Michelle! Have a great trip! [NYP]

With the success of Modern Family and its subsequent Emmy nominations, Sofia Vergara told fans she would run down Sunset Boulevard in the nude if they won the Best Outstanding Comedy category. Sadly, some people don't keep their promises.