On yesterday's Late Show, David Letterman had some choice remarks for retired-but-possibly-not-retired Brett Favre, who may or may not be bluffin' with his muffin. Want a bonus? How about this: Letterman also worked in an anti-Jay Leno joke! Video inside.

Though she was using hand sanitizer, 7-year-old Julie Murphy's art fair lemonade stand was shut down because it didn't have the necessary restaurant license. People were outraged and anarchists (srsly) are planning a protest. Stay strong, government agents!

The house-hold-feats game show Minute To Win It focused on a self-proclaimed Team Awesome rolling through the games. Team Awesome was filled with fear when a game involving horseshoes, ping-pong balls, and color coordination came up.

Back when Ashley and Mary-Kate were huge, and kids videos were apparently written by meth-addled conceptual pizza cooks, this frenetically terrifying music video was somehow allowed into circulation. Enjoy, but beware; this might actually melt your brain.

Sarah Palin followed up on her "cojones" remarks on Hannity yesterday by saying Obama's "in over his head," "quite complacent," and "in flux," much of which is "a result of him not having much experience." What about happy birthday?

Yesterday, the cast of Real Housewives: D.C. appeared on The View, and somehow during an interview that Whoopi Goldberg wasn't even a part of, the host was accused of attacking Michaele Salahi. Both parties plead their case inside.

Gawker.TV Trivia, a daily question & answer game that tests your knowledge of television—past and present. Do you think that you've got it? Check out the answer to today's question, inside.

[Caroline Giuliani, daughter of former New York mayor Rudy, mugs for the paparazzi while leaving a police precinct yesterday after being arrested for shoplifting makeup from a Sephora on the Upper East Side. She loves the attention. Image via Splash]

The "Meet a Gawker.TV intern" feature introduces you to our fantastic team of bright and eager interns. Today we have an interview with Eleni Crush.

Mauricio Mendez Lopez was discovered by his niece holding a knife and drinking a glass of his roommate's blood after killing him in their Florida home. Is Twilight to blame for all of this?

Vice long ago morphed from a magazine about dirty hipster shit into a Corporation, which sells Cool. The fact that Vice is often referred to as "hip" is a dead giveaway of its clients lackluster levels of coolness.

Earlier this week, Lynda France claimed she found out her husband was a bigamist through the magic of Facebook. This morning, John appeared on Today with his new wife Amanda to clear the air about his supposed "double life."

For more than 20 years, Shark Week has educated audiences by showing them how, with razor-sharp teeth and barrelfuls of dead seals, people can be enticed to watch the Discovery Channel.

If it weren't for the Report, none of us would know what to be constantly panicked over. That's why it was so shocking for Stephen to issue a "Threat Standdown" last night over the specter of the monkey taliban.

When Conde Nast announced early this year that it would be pursuing "brand extensions" to try to scare up some cash, we took it as a joke. But it's all too real! A cafe...named for GQ...in Istanbul? Sure, why not?

Wednesday's Attack of the Show! revealed that the U.S. military is hard at work ensuring that these cuddly destroyers will be the harbingers of humanity's annihilation.

He's so happy to be back in the business he blew his wad on babes and blow. Two married country singers are strumming each other's guitars, and the least blind reality show item ever. Sometimes it's gotta be easy.

Here's a trailer for Burlesque, the Christina Aguilera/Cher girl-with-big-city-and-bright-lights dreams movie that, to some, seemed like the advent of a new gay Christmas. Well, Christmas is canceled this year, kids.

This NYT story about Hunter High's diversity controversies has everything: famous alumni! Halls of power! The petty intrigues of academic politicking! Black people, or lack thereof! If only it were a private high school, Times editors could have died happy.

Wyclef Jean announced this morning that he's resigning from Yele Haiti, his scandal-plagued charity, to focus on his bid for Haiti's presidency, which he'll formally announce on Larry King's show tonight.