Are you currently manically brushing your hair, plastering a smile on your face and saying that today is going to be better, today you're going to be a whole new person? Well, too bad. Science says you'll never change.

Congresswoman Maxine Waters was charged with three ethics violations today, including a breach of the rule that members "behave at all times in a manner that shall reflect creditably on the House." Enforcing this rule could be a slippery slope!

AOL's money website WalletPop composed a list of the worst American cities to live in based on the climate, unemployment and foreclosure figures, crime stats, etc. Naturally, Detroit and LA both made the cut. But there were some surprises, too.

Who needs the Palins? Levi Johnston has reportedly signed a solo reality TV deal.

Former Liberian President Charles Taylor is charged with involvement in the blood diamond trade. Farrow's statement that Campbell was "quite excited" about the diamonds Taylor gifted her contradicts Campbell's previous statement that she didn't know what the "dirty-looking stones" were.

[To raise money for a breast cancer charity, 102 British nudists make a bouncy attempt to break the World Record for naked rollercoaster riding at Essex's Adventure Island amusement park. Image via Splash.]

In your muckraking Monday media column: MSNBC.com borrows a little too liberally from the NYT, the Washington Post grits its teeth as another competitor launches, Clark Hoyt gets a new job, more advice for Newsweek, and Forbes.com gets Gawkery.

Mike "The Miz" Mizanin shows how Gaga for Gaga he actually is by giving an "awesome" rendition of "Poker Face" on Lopez Tonight. You may remember "The Miz" from The Real World: Back to New York and other shows.

Kentucky Senate candidate Rand Paul — the one who's scared of Meet the Press — had such an exciting college experience. Once, he kidnapped a lady and forced her to take "bong hits" and worship a water god. Kids!

In a big surprise to all, Mikey proposed to her girlfriend Raquel, both of whom work in the fashion industry, on the Dolce Vita catwalk. An overjoyed Raquel appreciated the public proposal because Mikey has a hard time with emotions.

This morning on Today, Stephanie Abrams was unable to do the weather forecast in person because she was stuck in an elevator across the street at 30 Rock. Did she freak out? Nah, she just did her job anyway. Badass!

Watch as Jason Priestly uses his Brandon Walsh charm to hook up with Heather who, oddly enough, was dressed as a mermaid. Sure, he wasn't playing Brandon but that's how we know him and that's who he'll referred to as!

It's disturbing when a tough economy and lack of post-college employment prospects lead America's young people (our greatest asset, next to nuclear weapons) down the wrong road. The road to church. Why won't god stop this madness?

It's pretty rare, given all of her handlers, to catch Sarah Palin in an unscripted exchange with a critic. But here's an uncomfortable clip showing Palin confronting an Alaskan teacher who'd welcomed Palin's crew with a "WORST GOVERNOR EVER" sign.

Forget Judge Walker and the Supreme Court or whatever. The final moral and imaginarily legal verdict on gay sex fiend weddings and Proposition 8 will be issued by an episode of the upcoming mistake, Law & Order: Los Angeles.

Scott's raging outburst on last week's Kourtney and Khloe has the Kardashians worried. Kim begs Kourtney to not forgive Scott, and Kris takes it upon herself to tell a flippant Scott to get help and stay away from Kourtney.

In a new article, Zac Efron moans "best… orgasm… ever!" with his pants unzipped in a public restroom, and Tom Cruise takes him for a pleasure ride on his motorcycle. Conclusion: "Nothing about Efron merits even flipping on the gaydar."

On a trip out west, Mad Men's Don Draper shifted back into Dick Whitman, but when disaster wrenched him back, he returned to his pattern of destructive behavior—and dragged another down with him. And our beloved Joanie cried!

Before Ke$ha spread glitter all over America, Brooklyn-based electropop trio Tayisha Busay was spreading it all over NYC, like in this WTF-worthy (in the most fun sense of the word) video for their single, "WTF You Doin' In My Mouth?"

A Googler took delivery of a near-silent mini-drone from a German company, which says it hopes to sell a fleet of the spy planes for taking Google Maps photos. Hopefully without using the optional thermal camera that sees through walls.