To close out his final appearance on the Daily Show, Jon Stewart brought out his fellow sons of Jersey Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band to perform “Land of Hopes and Dreams” and “Born to Run.”

Jon Stewart got a loving sendoff from nearly all of the correspondents he’s worked with on The Daily Show, but some of the notable people he’s mocked in the past also had their chance to get the last word in.

Sometimes, on nights you’ve a couple drinks too many, you might still believe you could be the best at balloons, the greatest in the world. Unfortunately, you are mistaken.

After 16 years and 2,581 episodes, Jon Stewart has left the Daily Show, the half-hour that established the template for successful satirical news shows and made Stephen Colbert, Steve Carell, and John Oliver into household names. He’ll be missed, and so will the millions of clicks he generates for blogs and news sites every week. What are we—content providers—going to do without you, Jon? We’re so fucked.

On Thursday night, a Facebook madman was somehow permitted to ask Republican candidates the following question: “I want to know if any of them have received a word from God, and what they should do and take care of first.”

In tonight’s debate, Fox’s Brett Baier directed a question about the Obama administration potentially allowing transgender soldiers to serve openly in the military to Mike Huckabee, who gave the exact grotesque answer you would expect, saying that the military is “not a social experiment” and that is instead around to “kill people and break things.”

Damn, dude: Acting on a bad Facebook tip, an Arizona bail bondsmen and his team surrounded the home of Phoenix Police Chief Joseph Yahner on Tuesday, believing a fugitive to be inside, Reuters reports.

After attacking Rosie O’Donnell earlier in tonight’s debate, Donald Trump turned his focus to Hillary Clinton. “I gave to many people,” Trump said, defending his political donations to candidates from both parties before explaining what he got in return. “With Hillary Clinton I said be at my wedding, and she came to my wedding,” he said. “She had no choice because I gave.”

Megyn Kelly asks Trump: “You’ve called women you don’t like, ‘fat pigs,’ ‘dogs,’ ‘slobs,’ and ‘disgusting animals’...” He interrupts her to clarify, “Only Rosie O’Donnell.”

Acting on the orders of President Vladimir Putin, Russian officials destroyed hundreds of tons of banned Western foodstuffs on Thursday, including piles of cheese, pork and peaches, The New York Times reports.

The first (real, non-consolation prize) GOP debate begins at 9 p.m. How long will Donald Trump last before security forcibly escorts him out? How many times will the angry white men utter the word “rape” for no apparent reason? How many groups of minority voters will be spectacularly and irrevocably alienated? And how much of the beautiful light inside of each and every one of us will die before the madness finally stops? We’ll be here (with special guest Glenn Greenwald), starting at 8:45 Eastern to find out.

A homeless man was arrested in Connecticut this week after allegedly wetting his finger and sticking it the ear of a 4-year-old boy, NBC New York reports.

The undercard to tonight’s GOP debate was a roundly depressing affair, as the seven runners-up wheezed hot, foul air into an empty basketball arena in Cleveland. But no moment was quite as sad, nor more human, than when Lindsey Graham took a moment to reflect on his lonely life.

When you return home from work, mentally exhausted despite having done mostly nothing all day, what do you do?

“The only thing necessary for the triumph of Adam Sandler is for good men to do nothing,” Burke once said. Leaked emails from Sony show just how many men and women did nothing while Pixels, one of the worst movies of the year, was in production. They have blood on their hands.

The internet scoffed again this week: “Six dollars for a bottle of water with asparagus in it? Whole Foods has gone too far.” But the bougie grocery chain is doing God’s work by ripping off the foolish.

Police suspect the death of a woman who received an illegal butt injection at a hotel near the St. Louis airport may be connected to a previous fatal butt-lift in Dallas.

A developer is planning to build Brooklyn’s first 1,000-foot condo tower, which could be nearly as tall as the Empire State Building, and will sell fabulously expensive apartments to all the billionaires who want to live in Downtown Brooklyn next to a bunch of Modell’s.

Brian Rice, one of the six Baltimore police officers indicted in the killing of Freddie Gray, may have received a substandard psychological evaluation from a firm that is now under investigation by the city. In 2012, Rice was accused of threatening the mother of his child with a handgun.

Another day, another small, symbolic victory for the masses in the class war. It is from symbolic victories like these that real victories are often launched.