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Douche of the Decade Joe Francis is threatening to sue Piranha 3D for showing "someone loosely based on Joe Francis" screaming bloody murder while piranhas tear his penis from his body with their rusty saw blade teeth.

Photographer Dwight Eschliman photographed each of the 37 ingredients in a Twinkie separately so you can see exactly what's inside. (Above: "whole eggs," baking soda and riboflavin.) After this, we're gonna stick to Ding Dongs.

If this timid-yet-adorable talking shell voiced by Saturday Night Live's Jenny Slate doesn't make you crack a smile, your heart may be made of stone. The comedienne used her real voice and co-wrote the short as well.

Kim Kardashian to Allure magazine: "I am Armenian, so of course I am obsessed with laser hair removal! Arms, bikini, legs, underarms… my entire body is hairless." Like one of those creepy cats. Or a blow-up doll. [Allure via JustJared]

Suddenly profitable GM has filed for an initial public offering of $10 to $20 billion.

A company promoting a pill that supposedly turns gray hair back to its original color has offered Anderson Cooper $1 million to get rid of his silver tresses. That is the stupidest thing we ever heard.

This video provides a service to all of the little tykes wondering what the hair under their father's nose is. Jonah Hill and Elmo talk about mustaches and all of the neat-o things you can do with one, inside.

Today we looked at the shocking news that men sometimes like it with dirty girls. This got all you commenters hot and bothered, of course, and inspired one reader to share a personal story from his sexual past.

Not only is vaguely intelligent-sounding columnist Fareed Zakaria leaving Newsweek; he's going to write a column for its competitor, Time. Mee-owch. That's Jon Meacham, Mike Isikoff, Evan Thomas, and Zakaria gone. Well, Howard Fineman can carry the place himself. [NYT]

Six years after a viral video depicted his quest to offer "Free Hugs" to all of Sydney, "Juan Mann" (pronounced "one man") says he hasn't seen a dime of his campaign's ad and t-shirt sales. Business Insider reports.

There's more "Ground Zero mosque" news today! Here's Prop 8 lawyer Ted Olson, whose wife Barbara was killed on 9/11 (while he was Solicitor General), on the Islamic community center saga: "I think probably the president was right about this."

Oh, joy! CBS has released an odd one-minute promo spot for the 11th season premiere of CSI, which—in case you weren't aware—guest stars tween pop sensation Justin Bieber. Come in and take a look at it, won't you?

Steven Tyler will join American Idol, Kevin Spacey develops an HBO drama, Prince Harry will join forces for a reality show, what's up with Caprica, Tim Gunn's best TV appearances, ANTM gets classy, and more!

Yesterday came the first real signs that American Apparel could soon face bankruptcy. Today, the news for Dov Charney's breast-covering empire grows darker: a shareholder lawsuit, rumored store closings, a stock that's still plummeting, and disgruntled employees emailing us.

Take that Sun Chips! While complaining about the loudness of the new environmentally friendly Sun Chips bags Shepard Smith lets his viewers know where they can get the most up to date news! Kiss the rings, internet.

In an unprecedented step, Google is letting privacy-sensitive Germans delete pictures of their homes from Google Street View. This is a limited time offer, however. Act now for maximum privacy. But only in Germany. Why?

This is the best new competitive reality program on TV. Uniquely creative concept? Check. Low budget production, spontaneous? Or, seemingly unscripted drama, an eccentric collection of contestants, and crazy-ass challenges? Check, check, and check! Here's highlights from last nights challenge.

Sarah Palin took to her Twitter today, the 90th anniversary of women's suffrage, to philosophize on an age-old lady issue: Feminists. What are they? According to Palin, little more than a "cackle of rads."

An Indiana police officer told 21-year-old Demetrius Russ to pull up his damn pants. "You can't ask me for shit," Russ replied, saying he was "just swagging." After a discussion about his genitals, Russ was arrested.