New Jersey guy Wyclef Jean is still whining about being disqualified from a presidential election in a country that he doesn't live in. So he wrote a song! In it, he says the electoral council should be thrown in prison.

Last Sunday a Thai woman was stopped at Bangkok's Suvarnabhumi International Airport when security screeners saw x-ray images of bones among a stash of stuffed tiger toys in her luggage. Inside they found a drugged two-month old tiger cub.

Did you know that in nine western states it's legal for cops to secretly put a GPS tracker on your car, without a warrant? No big deal, right? Because we know that all cops can be trusted, all the time.

[The Taliban hinted on Thursday that they might attack foreigners doing aid work in Pakistan. Here, Pakistani villagers stand on the remains of an embankment washed away by heavy flooding in Thatta near Hyderabad. Pic via AP.]

Manhattan criminal judge James Gibbons resigned on Thursday after officials found porn on his work computer. But wait! What kind of porn?

Oh my god! The Prospect Park Zoo in Brooklyn has two baby baboons, and they are so cute. They also don't have names, and the zoo is holding a contest to name them. Do you want to watch them play?

Stephen addressed the recent stabbing of a Muslim NYC Taxi driver with a condemnation of the Post and its typically sensationalist headlines. He rightly points out that this violent jerk is ruining it for the rest of the Islamaphobes.

[A bird flies past a cloud of smoke coming from a fire at a paint factory in Jandira, Brazil. No one was hurt, except for my soul, which shed a single tear at this image. Pic via AP.]

Michael Enright, the drunk filmmaker accused of stabbing a cabdriver in Manhattan after asking "Are you Muslim?", worked well with both American soldiers and Muslims while in Afghanistan. So what happened? Was it his "intense experience" in the war-torn country?

Tonight, Cat's annoyance starts with the unnecessary security, and escalates with Tareq's use of a whistle for control. Things turn catty over a "bitch" comment and even more dramatic after Cat realizes that *gasp* the stomping grapes are table grapes.

Do you remember when Jon Stewart skull-violated Glenn Beck in the most epic way possible? (If not, it's here.) Tonight, Stewart gave an encore, with a segment that tore down Beck's upcoming rally, university, credibility—everything, really. Video inside.

With only seven house guests left and the summer rapidly coming to a close, the game has reached a turning point. This week, friends turned against friends, enemies bonded over chum baths and furry-cuffs, and two people were sent packing.

How fun was former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich's corruption trial, which ended with the jury deadlocked on 23 of 24 charges? So fun they're going to try again in January—but without his brother Robert, whose charges were dropped.

Fry and company got meta tonight with a trip to a 31st century comic-con. It's been a whole millennium, and not much has changed. Apparently, Matt Groening will continue getting way too many Simpsons questions, and Fox still sucks.

Former President Jimmy Carter has secured the release of Aijalon Gomes, an American citizen detained in North Korea.

In a segment more befitting his daytime talk show than a primetime cable news one (actually, they're pretty much the same), Jerry Springer squared off with Sean Hannity tonight on President Obama, the economy, health care, and more! Video inside.

Wondering where all the asteroids are? Well, "up," obviously. But also, in this beautiful, hypnotic video that tracks asteroid discovery over the last 30 years. It's more engrossing than Armageddon, that's for sure. (Watching it in HD is best!) [via]

Thinking about running for eighth grade class president at Mississippi's Nettleton Middle School? Are you white? Because only white kids can run for president. Black kids can be vice-president, though! But only black kids. Update: They changed the policy.

There's a special feeling that comes from making people laugh. There is also a special fear that comes from bombing as a comedian. Here, Mike Birbiglia recalls an unfortunate joke he made at a charity event.

How many times will Sammi and Ronnie break up tonight? And how much longer are we going to care? Let us debate it as a group, during our weekly Jersey Shore live blog. You might even find true love!