If you wish your search engine was more like a brain implant, then you'll love the new Google: It displays results instantly, predicts what you're looking for, and is extremely fast. It's also a big gamble.

Watch as Wipeout contestant Catherine Thoma shamelessly puts herself out there, for all the eligible bachelors watching (and presumably to Catherine, wanting), on one of America's time-tested and most respectable programs to date.

In your celebratory Wednesday media column: Brandon Holley makes it back to the magazine world, Tina Brown vows not to join the magazine world, Arianna Huffington's in her own world, and the WSJ's digital prez is out.

[Donald Trump licks a choco-pop at the U.S. Open. Image via Pacific Coast News.]

The always-dapper Tim Gunn discussed everything that's wrong with Condé Nast and the people who "enable" Anna Wintour. Just because he can't believe the fashionista let herself be carried down five flights of stairs doesn't mean he's attacking her character.

BP has released its internal investigative report on the Deepwater Horizon explosion, and — spoiler! — it "deflects attention away from BP," pinning more responsibility on Transocean and Halliburton. Maybe that's true? Or maybe it's just standard corporate PR.

Ohio Congressman John Boehner wants the White House to focus not on what he's saying, but on top priority issues facing our country. So what does Good Morning America's George Stephanopoulos want to discuss? Boehner's bitchin' tan!

Yesterday, Madonna actually deigned to take the subway, New York's most proletariat conveyance. When she's in town, you might expect to see her going to Pilates or an adoption agency or something. But the subway? How could we miss this?

There is nothing cooler than a chick that can kick your butt, and we got to witness an interview with the assassin on Nikita. Watch as the tough beauty shows us she isn't afraid of some bumps and bruises.

Senator/Grandpa Burke arrives just in time to explain some of the show's bizarre familial backstory, which puts the "situation" in Situation Comedy. Unsurprisingly—and awesomely—the character is cut from the same cloth as Mona from Who's the Boss?

Americans: what the hell are we eating? Sometimes we wonder that, as we idly stuff any nearby foodstuffs into our maws while in a glassy-eyed, dreamlike state. The problem: we hate immigrants, but love food. What to do?

Ryanair's crazy CEO wants you to keep enjoying those $6 flights to Ibiza. How? By getting rid of copilots. Sure! Not necessary at all, those backup people in case the other guy who knows how to fly the plane dies.

This mash up of two iconic late 90's movies, the Big Lebowski and the Matrix, is pure genius. Inserting the Dude into the Matrix's "blue pill, red pill scene" works really well; look out for the obligatory Eagles joke.

"Girls Gone Wild" boss and Douche of the Decade Joe Francis is suing to stop the sale of former employee Ryan Simkin's tell-all book. But Simkin gave us an excerpt (below)—involving Paris Hilton smuggling coke and ecstasy, sexxxily.

Gawker.TV Trivia, a daily question & answer game that tests your knowledge of television—past and present. Do you think that you've got it? Check out the answer to today's question, inside.

Piers Morgan is officially replacing Larry King on CNN in January. Everything's different now.

The View hosts were "quaking with excitement" over the newly-announced Dancing With the Stars cast. Barbara Walters, rolling her eyes, demanded to know why Bristol Palin is "a star? She's a seventeen-year-old who got pregnant and wasn't married." Video inside.

Pundits started reading Democrats their last rites last week after Gallup's generic-ballot poll showed voters preferring Republicans by ten percentage points, a record. But in the same poll this week, the parties are... tied? Get your story straight, America.

Last night was the season finale of Louie, one of summer TV's unexpected gems. The show came to a close as Louis faced his greatest alienation yet and realized where he truly belongs.

Ellen Degeneres presented last night's Top Ten list and detailed what's been on the comedian's mind as of late. Topics included Jane Lynch, American Idol, Portia de Rossi and regret over allowing Paris Hilton borrow her purse.