Dave Attell addresses the drink that we think we remember drinking, and imagines the commercials that go along with it.

What's next for Kenny Powers in Season Two? It looks like the failed baseball player is headed to Mexico to play for a team called the Charros. Beyond that, we can only guess by the ridiculous behavior in this trailer.

Google released a statement confirming it fired teen-stalking engineer David Barksdale for "breaking Google's strict internal privacy policies," as Gawker first reported earlier today. Our original exclusive, about Barksdale spying on minors' Google Voice and Talk accounts, has been updated.

HBO has released a video of every single character that's been killed off of their show. From what I hear, this might be all of the best parts of True Blood in one video!

[Today's PETA protest of New York Fashion Week didn't involve fake blood—just attractive, half-naked women in body paint. That's more like it. Image via AP]

Our favorite guidos and guidettes from the Shore dropped by today's episode of Ellen. While they were there, they chatted about Snooki's time in the slammer and how the roommates don't feel too confident in The Situation's dance moves.

Watch a group of worried grandchildren express their concern for the 88-year-old actress in this fake Public Service Announcement begs the question "Betty White can save TV, but should she have to?"

Here we have South Carolina Senate president pro-tempore Glenn McConnell dressed up in a Confederate general's costume, alongside two African-Americans in "historical" garb. Oh man. What kind of slave party were they throwing down in Charleston, recently?

Gilt Groupe, the bargain luxury e-tailer, is expanding further into Groupon's local shopping business. Emailed coupons still seem like too much trouble for Gilt's upscale customers, but apparently the grinding recession has even the rich looking for deals.

Starting with Wendy's welcome of "RAYvennn... you look fabulous!" to calling her a "little sister in my own mind!" is it any wonder that Raven Simoné and Wendy Williams are BFF's? Watch the two fawn all over each other inside.

A Christian leader in Amarillo, Texas doused a Quran in kerosene and prepared to burn it. Just then, a rattail-coiffed fauxhemian snuck up, grabbed the holy book, and "I was like, 'Dude, you have no Quran!'" Then he ran away.

Today we scratched our heads and wondered where the Obama school speech outrage is this year. You commenters were helpful and provided some rage and confusion for us, just so we didn't feel so disappointed.

In response to Michelle Obama's attempt to put healthier food in public schools, Glenn Beck accuses her of taking away Americans' rights. He explains obesity is a choice and we shouldn't be wasting resources by giving them healthcare.

In your educational Tuesday media column: Al Sharpton launches a TV show about schooling; the Washington Post pimps space on its front page; and magazines bleed even more rich readers.

In this hilarious spoof on Boardwalk Empire, violence and intrigue erupt over the community chest and getting to Boardwalk and Park Place before everybody else. Things to take a turn for the worse when double sixes are rolled...

A crazy new commercial from the nonprofit vegan group Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine features a dead man in a morgue holding a hamburger, and implies that McDonald's was to blame.

My Boys has been canceled, Ana Gasteyer will guest star on Chuck, Rachel Zoe will make a cameo on Gossip Girl, Al Sharpton gets a Sunday morning show, Kaley Cuoco falls off a horse, and a tribute to Oprah's fans.

A Delta pilot was arrested today after Dutch police detected alcohol in his system.

Hey, look, a website that crowdsources information on the price of weed in various world cities, then calculates averages and charts it on a Google map. File under: Synergy, Inevitabilities, Reasons To Move To The Pacific Northwest. [PriceofWeed.com]

While discussing the latest on the new antibiotic resistant superbug (NDM1), Fox News' Shep Smith referenced Gawker's How to Avoid Catching the Brand-New 'Drug-Resistant Superbugs.' Happy to know you can take a joke, Shep.