The Portland, Oregon bus driver who was caught on video reading a Kindle while driving on the highway, Lahcen Qouchbane, has been fired for posing "an immediate threat to public safety." That sounds about right. [The Oregonian]

[A female hippopotamus named Mali celebrates her 44th birthday at Bangkok's Dusit Zoo today with a feast of fruit and bread. Image via AP]

A Florida woman was arrested yesterday after a YouTube video surfaced showing her egging on her 16-year-old daughter during a brawl with another teenage girl. The video shows April Newcomb midway through the fight telling her daughter, "Don't fucking stop."

Who: A fashion giant for three decades now, Talley is Vogue's former editor-at-large and currently a contributing editor at the magazine.

If you only read one story about hemorrhoids today, make sure it's this Post gem: A "quick-fingered" proctologist "was done in by 'rhoid rage" after patients complained he was overbilling and spending "no more than 15 minutes" treating their hemorrhoids.

Retired FDNY firefighter Robert Linhart was arrested Tuesday after showing up at Madonna's home with an ice pick and telling police, "I won't stop until I actually meet Madonna." Asked by the Daily News if she's afraid, Madonna said "No."

Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg will appear on Oprah Friday to announce a $100 million donation to help resuscitate Newark's failed public school system. That's a lot of money, even for someone worth $6.9 billion. Talk about some well-timed PR!

Abbott Laboratories, the makers of Similac baby formula, have voluntarily recalled "fewer than five million" formula containers after beetles were found by two consumers and in a manufacturing plant. A little extra protein never hurt anyone, right? [Reuters]

Mayor Mike Bloomberg is no longer New York's wealthiest resident. Tea Party billionaire David Koch is.

[The Super Harvest Moon rises behind a statue of the Roman goddess of agriculture, Ceres atop the Missouri State Capitol building tonight. Image via AP]

A school in New Zealand last week held a Possum Hunt and Gala, where students shot possums and then competed in a carcass-throwing contest. Answering critics, principal Colin Martin said, "Colyton School is about letting kids be kids."

CBS has a new lawyer show on the schedule that brings Jim Belushi and Jerry O'Connell together at long last. Does CBS have another procedural hit on its hands?

Highbrow Courtney Love told New York magazine that she's "the Tolstoy of text" and hates "'C U later.'" She's also trying to "finish this damn story that The New Yorker, by the way, does not know is coming." Heads up!

Undercovers is the newest brainchild of JJ Abrams, creator of fan favorites like Felicity, Alias, Lost, and Fringe. Would Undercovers be as good as JJ's previous offerings, or would it be a dud?

Tosh always seems to get away with a lot, but tonight's jokes were more offensive than usual. The Web Redemption was for that reporter who couldn't break glass, but Tosh's shining moment was learning to Tase a group of people.

I'm going to break character for a second and tell you something about myself: I was just struck by lightning. A nearby lightning strike sent a power surge through my outlet, into my computer and up my arm.

As a proud Colombian mom, one of Gloria's best qualities is the ability to smother her boys with love and leave them wanting more. So what happens when Gloria's mother hen status is threatened by Manny's crush? Find out inside.

Tonight, Jon Stewart opened with a segment about yesterday's Senate failure to bring to the floor a vote that would have repealed the archaic, discriminatory "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy. Stewart asked: are we run by assholes? Indeed! Video inside.

Guess what, people! Tonight, the Real World reunion episode aired, and that means only one thing—you get a bonus "Ryan the Real World Homophobe" update! The show was drama-filled, obviously, and all the best Ryan-related moments are inside.

[Lindsay Lohan stares down the camera in West Hollywood. Photo via Pacific Coast News]