There's almost universal agreement that the tactics and message used by parishioners of the small, fringe Westboro Baptist Church are despicable. Does that make their provocative protests near the funerals of dead U.S. soldiers — under the theory that God is punishing the country because it tolerates gay and lesbian Americans — unconstitutional?

The Madrid Zoo unveiled a pair of one-month-old panda twins today. They're of unknown gender (apparently it takes awhile to figure that out) and are the first panda twins created by artificial insemination ever to be born outside of Asia.

During next week's episode of Weeds, Mark-Paul Gosselar plays a bartender that Nancy encounters. One might think that it's okay to smoke in a small-town run-down bar, but Zach Morris thinks otherwise—and that Nancy deserves to be punished.

You know those stories about soldiers who carry bullet-stopping Bibles in their breast pockets? A guy in Harlem got shot today, but the cellphone in his pocket stopped the bullet. Maybe God found out that we call phones "Jesus" now?

Today we showed you a video of a particular subway nightmare. This prompted you to share some of your own nightmares. And while they were all appropriately nightmarey, one really took the cake.

There were probably hundreds of options for the "Top 10 Signs There's Trouble at Fox News," but the 10 the Late Show settled on were enjoyable. Now that they mention it, Fox does seem like a good home for Leno...

Producers have been hawking Brighton Beach, a Russian version of Jersey Shore since March. Lifetime just ordered 12 episodes of the show. But it won't be like Jersey Shore. This one is about family!

This morning on Wendy Williams, she broke down everything you need to know about the seedy Morgan Freeman divorce situation. Watch as she and her ridiculously demonstrative television audience ever, react.

In your Thursday edition of, "Today, I learned..." we have this: did you know that cows apparently really enjoy music, and—more specifically—the sound of an accordion? Well, if this video is any proof, they do. They really do.

Federal prosecutors have issued a new round of subpoenas in their probe of John Edwards' campaign finances — giving the investigation seemingly stalled for a year fresh signs of life, the Associated Press reported.

Ken Jeong makes quite an entrance on Ellen, outdoing his host's noted dance skills. He then discusses being a general practitioner and being professionally naked in the same breath.

The Way We Live Now: emerging from the world's longest tunnel, blind and groping. We can't find decent cities. We can't find stable currencies. We can't find the hill going up. But the hill going down—that one never quits.

Concetta Serrano was summoned to her brother-in-law's home by Chi l'ha Visto—an Italian show about missing persons—where she was informed on live TV that her teenage daughter's body had been found—and her brother-in-law was responsible for her death.

The voice of Dora the Explorer is suing Nickeloedon, Bristol Palin might have been DWTS' sloppy seconds, the ladies of SNL are getting a 2-hour special, and the last day to sign up for Arianna Huffington's free bus is tomorrow!

You've already seen the preview clip of South Park's NASCAR-filled season premiere. Now, find out everything that happened during the episode where Cartman made it his mission to become "poor and stupid" enough to race with the best of 'em.

TONIGHT: Lots of TV! We have the season finale of of The Real Housewives of DC, plus new episodes of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Vampire Diaries, Nikita, Community, 30 Rock, Grey's Anatomy, Jersey Shore, CSI, and much, much more!

The Honorable André Leon Talley takes his snarky judging ability from ANTM to Martha Stewart's show to decide whether Martha is considered to be "petite," and whether she should be a judge on Tyra's show herself.

President Obama spoke at a rally at Bowie State University in Maryland today. Two dozen people "started fainting and became dizzy," and two were taken to hospitals. Ergo, Barack Obama is a Muslim. Err...a socialist. Err... just plain sickening. [Pic]

It's a very exciting adventure for her! Also today: a sad story about Mike Myers, a sad story about Jimmy Smits, a somewhat happy story about Maura Tierney, and a sad story about a beloved Brooklyn neighborhood.

If you watch reality television shows, then you know that through some strange verbal coincidence, all the contestants constantly say the same meaningless things. Here are the 10 that are the most annoying.