In your gobsmacked Wednesday media column: a shining golden possibility for hundreds of media jobs, Richard Johnson scoots from Page Six, Current TV has a Bold New Plan, and Glenn Beck lives.

"I've never told this story to anyone," said Fort Worth City Councilman Joel Burns during a meeting last night. The story Burns told was about the bullying he faced as a gay teen. Try not to cry while watching this.

Well, isn't this interesting! Here's an advance clip from Welcome to the Rileys, aka the upcoming film that features Kristen Stewart as a wayward stripper who gets rescued by James Gandolfini. Watch as Stewart drops one dirty line after another.

California is a debt-enslaved failed state. So what else should the two gubernatorial candidates, Jerry Brown and Meg Whitman, debate about besides the semantics of the word "whore"? When is "whore" appropriate? Let's find out.

Last night's episode of Running Wilde featured its two main characters acting like completely self-absorbed and oblivious cock-teases. Who were the recipients of these theoretical blue balls? A junior high school student and Andy Richter. Warning: shirtless Will Arnett ahead!

Middle-aged writer Lois Romano explores how her own dating "litmus tests" and "dealbreakers" differ from those of her daughters. Fine. What about her sons? She has none. Out of respect for gender equality, we present some dating dealbreakers for men.

Finally someone had the brilliant idea to pair all of the characters on Glee for an evening of duets. It also helped to establish some couples among our band of misfits. The episode was mediocre, but the idea was divine.

Star Texas outfielder Josh Hamilton has had past problems with alcohol. He stated earlier this year he would avoid the conventional champagne celebration with teammates if it presented itself. Here, Josh enjoys a celebratory ginger ale, all by his lonesome.

After a federal judge yesterday ordered the military to stop enforcing Don't Ask, Don't Tell, Rep. Barney Frank called for the Obama administration to wait to appeal the ruling until after Congress can repeal the policy in a lame-duck session.

Last night Nick Swardson's Pretend Time made it's debut on Comedy Central. The show had everything that Swardson had promised: Wheelchair Cat, the uncomfortable Donkey Sex Club, the return of the Gay Robot—and so much more. Videos inside.

In what is presumably Seyfried's home, Mark Webber of Scott Pilgrim interviews the young star, asking a variety of odd questions. What's most entertaining, though, is watching Webber barely able to conceal his massive crush on Seyfried.

David Arquette is "begging" Courteney Cox to get back together with him. He's so torn up, he called his good friend Howard Stern to talk about it—and dished about their sex lives, "methodical" lovemaking, and extramarital relationships.

You can rent the entire Tokyo Mandarin Oriental Hotel for $672,150 per night. Free pastries included.

New York gubernatorial candidate Carl Paladino, who doesn't care for those Speedo-wearing gays and their gyrating, actually used to rent space to two gay nightclubs in Buffalo. His son even ran one, Cobalt, Buffalo's onetime "gay club of the moment."

At times of economic recession, even the big advertisers have to think twice on how to allocate their funds. Inside, a look at how brand names we all know may have to market their products if things go south.

Depending on who you ask today, Boston might be better than New York, or New York might have totally trounced Boston (again). One study says that Boston is way more "innovative" than NY, while another says Boston's business sucks.

Okay, CNN's dynamic new public affairs program Park-Spitzer had a rough start. But hey, Monday night's episode was the time slot's biggest failure in years. And it set up Larry King for his worst ratings in a decade. Green shoots!

[Justin Bieber at a fan event in Japan. Photo via Splash]

After only four weeks of competition, The Situation was sent home last night after one of the worst dances the show had ever seen. Inside, video of the elimination, a flashback montage of his "best moments," and his final dance.

Barack Obama is hosting some town hall for the youths tomorrow on their favorite channel, MTV. He asked for free time, MTV said "okay." But what about the Republicans? Why won't MTV give them time to interact with stupid tweens?