Depending on who you ask today, Boston might be better than New York, or New York might have totally trounced Boston (again). One study says that Boston is way more "innovative" than NY, while another says Boston's business sucks.

Something called Innovation Cities has, using a very hard to understand series of like emotional algorithms and rocket surgical terms and the like, determined Boston to be the most innovative city in the world. In the WORLD!! More than Paris or Amsterdam. And New York? The Shitty Apple was number five. So suck it, New York. Your bars might be open 'til four, but Boston's innovating nerd minds are open twenty four hours a deigh.

BUT. Hold on. What good is so-called "innovation" if it has no practical output? When looking at the number of tech startups per city, Boston has slipped from its once prominent No. 2 position (after Silicon Valley, natch). New York has edged in and taken the second spot, while Boston has dropped to a dreary fourth. Blame Denton?

So each city earns a point, and, thus, loses a point. We're back where we started. A-Rod still sucks, Jeter still swallows, and Boston still... is full of nerds and segregation and is small and closes early. So. We're stuck, forever. Like Charlie on the M(B)TA.