Today at Gawker.TV, Stephen Colbert and Steve Carell perform a musical tribute to Captain Sully, Hoda Kotb and Patti Stanger answer awkward questions, Chris Rock and Tracy Morgan perform as Simon and Garfunkel until the real Paul Simon shows up.

You've always wanted to star alongside Linds, right? Well, here's your chance. Marc Ecko wants you to manipulate Ms. Lohan's hologram in a video that you create—all for a shot at $10K. Oh, the possibilities: a Mean Girls reenactment with you in the Lacey Chabert role, helping LL pick out her rehab outfit...

Liz Lemon isn't known for her sexual prowess. Now—courtesy last night's 30 Rock—we know why! You see, it appears that nine-year-old Liz had a roller skating/Tom Jones-related accident. (Really.) Watch Liz's hilarious reveal to Jack (and flashback) inside.

Nevada Senate candidate Sharron Angle has revolutionized campaigning this year in that she won't tell reporters where she's going, making the day-to-day work of covering her events into a private investigation. And when reporters find her? Apparently she "shushes" them.

On last night's edition of Donald Trump Beats People Up Emotionally, the teams had to grapple with sexy models and speaking in front of crowds. There was a particularly epic public-speaking fail - video after the jump.

Per a tipster: "Saw [recently deposed NBC CEO] Jeff Zucker shopping the jewelry area at Saks, apparently attempting to spend a small fraction of his severance. Expensive shoes." Spot someone? Email us or post it yourself to #stalker. [Photo: Getty]

The Way We Live Now: saving for McNuggets. Though prices may be higher, no price is too high. Not for a bite-size taste of that savory golden flesh, made of stockpiled gold, killed quickly, with no thought to looming disaster.

What do you do with all of those old cassette tapes you have laying around? For this guy, you rip out the ribbon, arrange it on a floor, and—with some cool camera trickery—turn it into a boombox. Woah.

On Watch What Happens Live, Hoda Kotb and the Millionaire Matchmaker were forced to chat about everything they didn't want to talk about: Patti Stanger's divorce! Chelesa's firing! How can Hoda deal with that drunk co-host of hers? Answers inside.

[Old Lady Gaga leaving Shady Pines Retirement Community her hotel in London today. Image via Splash]

5,057 janitors have PhD's, doctorates, and professional degrees says the Bureau of Labor Statistics, which estimates 17 million Americans have college degrees they don't need for their jobs. They have great opinions about Chekhov's oeuvre, though. [via]

Mac and Charlie play mom matchmaker after one of them loses a home. A great job by casting because these mothers are adorable! Mac's mother speaks in grunts while Charlie's mother worries like a neurotic. What an odd couple!

They came back last night. Though we taped the windows and stuffed towels under the doors, they still came seeping in. Through unknown cracks in the walls, secret holes in the floorboards. Damn these sneaky, oily Housewives!

So, videos of children being hurt aren't funny (except that they are, sometimes), but I bet you'll have a hard time not laughing at this. Watch a little girl yell, "Go!" to her dog, which he does. Then, she flies/falls.

Remember when Captain Sully successfully landed a plane on the Hudson? How about the YouTube sensation Chocolate Rain? Stephen Colbert and Steve Carell wrote the hit "Everybody's Talkin' Bout Sully" years ago, but only got around to performing it now.

A suddenly in-the-news George W. Bush says that his greatest presidential failure was not privatizing social security. Discuss.

Daniel Kish has been blind since childhood, but has found a way to visualize his surroundings by copying the behavior of bats. Watch as he bikes and locates a ball in a field by making clicking noises with his mouth.

Jay-Z's new book for the extremely slow, Decoded, is coming out soon. Perhaps you had high hopes of catching a Jay-Z book signing at your local Barnes & Noble? Yea right.

During a Pioneer League football game, a fumble at the one yard line led to a reverse touchdown. The announcer covering the game gets a bit excited by the play- He screams so loud that he loses his voice.

It is proven science that the eight guidos involved in Jersey Shore, the most important sociological experiment of our time, are biological mutations. As they leave Miami for good, let's see how the natural world has turned against them.