Theodore C. Sorensen, John F. Kennedy's speechwriter and special counsel, died today after suffering a severe stroke last week. Sorensen wrote large portions of JFK's Profiles in Courage, along with Kennedy's most well known speeches. He was 82 years old.

Here are some kind-hearted lovers of nature assisting a fish who's lost its way. The fish equates their touch to the cold, clammy hands of death and in a last ditch effort, the fish releases numerous eggs. Epic fail, bro.

[Sarah Palin pals around with noted draft dodger Ted Nugent in West Virginia to support three-time failure John Raese's bid for U.S. Senator. Sorry, Todd, but you ain't no 'Nuge. Image via Getty]

Christians in Britain are upset that the BBC has devoted air time to pagans and Hallowe'en, because Christmas and Easter and whatnot don't get nearly enough coverage: "It's not always healthy to represent such beliefs as paganism as mainstream." Nice.

All politics aside, who's going to agree with West Virginia Senate candidate John Raese's plan to install 1000 laser systems in the sky? Vote for the other guy. He's sure to have better ideas.

This is going to sit well with Republicans: Next month a panel will meet to discuss the possibility of providing women with free contraception under the health care bill. Excellent news! The TV pundit yelling matches should be great. [AP]

NY gubernatorial candidate Andrew Cuomo leads nutjob sideshow Carl Paladino 58 to 33 percent in a new poll.

Charlie Sheen bounces back from last week's cocaine- and hooker-related hospitalization with more cocaine and more hookers. Katy Perry's wedding launched an Indian police investigation. Kim Kardashian faces a Slutoween Sophie's Choice. Halloween's gossip roundup says "Boo!" and "You whore."

Halloween is here! Can you taste it? Does it taste like poisoned Goblin food? Considering that this week's Sunday Matinee is Troll 2, a film believed to be one of the worst/best movies of all time, I sure hope not!

The post-Richard Johnson era Page Six today has an item about Chinatown's Santos Party House being shut down over the "criminal sale or possession of controlled substances" inside the club. Too bad they ran a picture of the wrong guys!

Emmy award-winning filmmaker George Hickenlooper died yesterday in Denver while there for the premier of his new film, Casino Jack. Hickenlooper won an Emmy for Hearts of Darkness: A Filmmaker's Apocalypse, about the making of Apocalypse Now. He was 47.

One of two US-bound bombs that were found on cargo planes last week also flew on passenger jets between Yemen, Qatar and Dubai, according to Qatar Airways. A notorious Saudi bomb maker is the prime suspect for counterterrorism officials.

Here we have the famous Paul Thomas Anderson flick adapted into a side-scroller. Not to worry, the plot is interspersed into the game in classic 16-bit fashion: cutaways to pictures with text captions. Plus the usage of the "Milkshake" catchphrase!

Now along with the Mount Merapi volcano in Indonesia, there's another volcano spewing ash and terrifying residents: Anak Krakatau. The volcano is currently on Level 2 alert. And two other Indonesian volcanoes are one level below a full alert.

Celebrate everyone's favorite spooky holiday this year just like our southern cousins do, get out your firearms and start shootin'! After the jump, watch this defenseless pumpkin get carved the hard way.

Do you really need another reason to avoid the Meatpacking District? Here's one.

Just how big was the Stewart/Colbert rally yesterday? Way bigger than Glenn Beck's "Restoring Honor," according to the same company commissioned by CBS to count both. There were around 215,000 people there yesterday, compared to 87,000 at Beck's.

How do you fight off a shark attack? Pull its tail, apparently. That's what happened today in Australia when a dive instructor was bitten in the leg and butt and a swimmer yanked the shark's tail, which then fled.

Aries Spears would really like to go out drinking with you after his show. If you're white, he'll advise you to not drink so much, as he claims white people do all too often.

At first it looks like the checkered cube is floating but once you find out the trick, the checkered cube can never fool you again. You can feel better about your IQ now. Your brain is smarter than you think!