Michael makes his Godfather pitch to Jim and Pam, and surprise! They've already picked a couple. Either Michael is mellowing out, or Pam is getting way better at keeping him under control. Check out the scene.

This Halloween, teens descended on a Brooklyn neighborhood and proceeded to act like snotty teens on Halloween. A local blogger documented the mayhem, befriended some of the teens on Facebook, then posted their profiles and incriminating status updates.

Tonight, Jon Stewart discussed President Obama's decidedly boring post-midterm elections press conference, reminding us of the fact that the media cared about two things: 1) does Obama know how much he sucks, and 2) does he "get it?" Video inside.

[Lil Wayne Googles himself in his hotel room today. Lil Wayne was freed today after an 8-month stint at Rikers Island for gun crimes. Pic via DJ Scoob Doo's Twitter]

Janet Jackson was the guest for the hour on Larry King Live tonight. In two of the interview's most awkward moments, King a) told Jackson that her album title was "self-crediting," and b) didn't understand one of her obvious jokes.

On tonight's 30 Rock, Tracy discovered that NBC had prepared an obituary for him should he pass unexpectedly—he didn't like what it contained. Then, Jenna discovered that there wasn't one for her. They both reacted (hilariously). Watch inside.

In 127 Hours, James Franco stars as a stranded hiker who amputates his own arm. (Opening Friday!) As many as 16 people at festivals and the premiere have fainted during the graphic self-amputation scene. Just wait until Justin Bieber's movie.

With beau Andrew Cuomo headed to Albany soon to assume the Governorship of New York, Food Network personality and champion of tablescapes Sandra Lee will have a new locale to set her decorating sights on: the New York Executive Mansion.

Starting a new job is a magical feeling, but Maria Bamford bluntly states mini muffin Monday is not as exiting as it sounds. Watch her describe the wonders of her dream job.

This week, 4chan's 22-year-old founder, Christopher Poole (AKA "Moot"), held an extensive Q&A with users of the anarchic site's /b/ messageboard. The discussion ranged from technical details, to the rewards of fame, to sex. Lots of sex.

On The Soup, host Joel McHale often mocks Hoda Kotb and Kathie Lee Gifford's fourth hour of The Today Show. This morning, he was a guest and couldn't resist making fun. Click through for their reaction to his teasing.

Spurned Wikileaks volunteers, including former spokesman Daniel Domscheit-Berg, are launching a Wikileaks competitor. Leak fight!

If election day is Democracy's Christmas, then discovering a big bag of uncounted votes is like finding a sweet flatscreen HD television under your tree. Connecticut Republican gubernatorial candidate, Tom Foley, claims a bag of uncounted ballots just turned up!

[Hillary Clinton is not at all amused by the indecent proposal she got from a Maori warrior at a welcome ceremony in Wellington, New Zealand, today. Image via Getty]

Ever wish you could see the Passion of Christ in real life, with a bloodied, shackled Jesus? Dream of high-fiving Jonah inside a whale's large intestine? Lucky you: America's foremost Biblical amusement park is celebrating its 10th anniversary this year.

Broken smoke alarm detectors are hard to find. Try watching this clip with your headphones on. Does it sound like a beep coming from your home? Now you can understand what Phil Dunphy's been going through.

Today's episode of The Oprah Winfrey Show featured a performance by the recently reunited Backstreet Boys. We already knew that Winfrey loved to scream celebrities' names, but... six times in one episode? Yep! Inside, a video compilation of the shrieking.

Remember that scene in The Fifth Element where the blue alien lady sings opera? Well, here is a human lady singing the crescendo. Pretty impressive considering the blue alien lady's voice was electronically manipulated and this woman's is 100% real.

Today we learned that you are not allowed to sue Starbucks if your drink is too hot. This sparked much commenting about the evil coffee empire, with one person providing perhaps the most intricate concoctions available from the menu. Fascinating!

The Way We Live Now: on a Challenger shuttle trip straight to the moon. We surely will not encounter any unexpected tragedies! Stocks are up. The art market's back. We're getting cash for Christmas. Soar, America—hubris be damned!