This girl cannot hurdle, so adding water on the other side does not help. Here is another sarcastically scored video of a high school track and field fail! Watch as she becomes fodder for the crowd.

Her birthday treat was a romp with a boy, a girl, and a video camera. This reality star has some shady friends, this actress had a sexually-active Halloween, and someone brought Douche of the Decade Joe Francis' a special wedding.

By now, you've probably seen that Call of Duty: Black Ops ad featuring Kobe Bryant, Jimmy Kimmel, and "Gimme Shelter," but the game itself contains two more celebrity guest stars: noted zombie slayers Richard M. Nixon and John F. Kennedy.

[Lauren Conrad films a new goddamn reality show in LA. Photo via Bauer-Griffin]

This week, movie critic Gene Shalit retired after 41 years on the Today Show. Yes, that's 41 years of zingers like "I'd call Shutter Island 'Shudder Island'." Stephen took the opportunity to channel the man's essence, opinions and facial hair.

Glenn Beck recently unmasked billionaire Jew George Soros as a "puppet master" who controls Barack Obama and the progressive movement with his Jewish money. Guess who else he controls? Sarah Palin's chief policy adviser. Man those Jews are crafty!

For those tired of seeing spectacular hockey shootout trick shots, here is one to balance the scales. Ilya Kovalchuk needed one to keep his team alive, and it was comically anti-climactic. He recently signed a 15-year, $100 million contract.

Can you guess what movie this image comes from? Check back for the answer at 4pm today.

Vuvuzelas don't just harm and annoy people: They make great toilet-paper holders and earrings, too.

[An uncomfortable-looking Canadian PM Stephen Harper probably didn't want his picture taken with sex fiend Italian PM Silvio Berlusconi at the 2010 G20 Summit in Seoul, South Korea today. Image via Getty]

A horde of genetically-modified mutant mosquitoes has been unleashed on the Cayman Islands to kill other mosquitoes that carry potentially deadly dengue fever. The millions of sterilized male mosquitos will mate with wild females, but produce no offspring.

Who: Georgina is the horse-obsessed younger daughter of New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg.

California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger this summer declared a "fiscal emergency" over the state's $19 billion budget deficit, and they finally passed a new budget last month. But now that budget is another $6 billion in the red. Poor Jerry Brown.

Yesterday was Veteran's Day. So it was more than a little surprising that the joke for the day's Garfield strip was about an "annual day of remembrance" called "National Stupid Day." Does Garfield support the troops?!

Burmese Nobel laureate Aung San Suu Kyi is due to be released after spending most of the last two decades under house arrest.

Paul Scheer's Plastic Surgeon character Andre finally gets the chance to help out Nick Kroll's Ruxin by being an expert witness in a case. This episode was written by these two, and their interplay shines.

No one besides Mel Gibson is hoping for a fifth installment of "Lethal Weapon". Luckily, when Mac and Dennis take the helm, the story is a pitch-perfect, albeit quite racist version worthy of Mel himself.

Kentuckian Harvey Westmoreland didn't want any trouble when he tried to sell his lawnmower to some friends. But trouble sure found him. What happened, Harvey? "[E]verything just went haywire... They cut my beard and forced me to eat it."

[Singer/actress Jennifer Lopez, looking rather waxen, at Thursday's Latin Grammy Awards in Las Vegas. Image via Getty.]

Jay Leno apparently had Kim Kardashian jetted back to Los Angeles in honor of Vetrans' Day. But judging from this clip, it was mostly so that he could make creepy, old-man remarks about her hotness.