Donald Trump spoke with George Stephanopolous about his plans to regain respect for America: by taxing China. What? He even stalls before his answers like a reality show pro, assuring us that we'll be "shocked" by his answers. Video inside!

Twelve easy steps to cutting your NYT print subscription cost in half.

Katy Perry's management forces Vh1 to redo the photoshopping of her boobs. Eva Longoria divorced her husband over romantic text messages, possibly to his teammate's wife. Dina Lohan wants to sue Glee. Thursday gossip isn't ready for its close-up.

British parents are up in arms over a new commercial for Beyoncé's first-ever fragrance, Heat. The ad features Miss B writhing around wearing a satin red dress. Inside, watch and decide for yourself if it's truly unsuitable for TV.

Monty Cook, a former Baltimore Sun editor, has resigned from his position at the University of North Carolina's journalism school after a mini-scandal over his sexy instant messages with a female student. Remarkably, this wasn't his first sexy G-chat incident.

Not only does this girl dribble basketballs better than you, she does it while balancing on an indo board. Then she spins three basketballs at once. No word yet on her jump shot.

After his kid "enjoys" them, dad makes sure he gets his money's worth. This busty star is getting cheated on and this thought-to-be-busty singer is cheating with fake boobs. If she paid for 'em, she can do whatever she wants.

13.7 trillion dollar national deficit + impending baby boomer retirement = problem. But how do you solve a problem like the baby boomers? Just ship Grandma off to Mars, says Colbert (and the Journal of Cosmology).

The Wall Street Journal is reporting that the SEC will file a civil lawsuit against former New York Times reporter, car czar, and asshole Steven Rattner for his role in a pension kickback scheme. His downfall continues!

On last night's Letterman, Jake Gyllenhaal discussed his beard. Yes, his beard. And the brotherhood...of bearded men. Jake's take on the publicity his facial hair received last summer, inside.

Sextacular New York Post relationship consultant Andrea Peyser knows a thing or two about what men want, and she's about to hit you with some sexxxy wisdom, ladies. Rule One: don't be such a slut. She's talking to you, Maddie.

Police in Namibia this morning found a suitcase on a Munich-bound plane that had "a fuse, clock and wires" inside, attached to batteries. But no explosives! Which is nice. Still: Germans should panic, panic, panic.

Whatever they're arguing over, one of them wants to throw down and the other doesn't. This bully looks good with his shirt off in front of all the neighborhood girls, but he's about to get mercy ruled.

Can you guess what movie this image comes from? Check back for the answer at 4pm today.

A judge in Tennessee yesterday ruled that the Islamic Center of Murfreesboro can be built, despite objections from xenophobes who fear a jihadi incubator is being built in their backyard. The plaintiffs said they may appeal to the Supreme Court.

Argentina is facing some major budget issues, and tensions among legislators are high. So when lawmaker Carlos Kunkel wouldn't shut up during an Upper House session today his colleague, opposition member Graciela Camano, smacked the shit out of him. Watch!

Ladies: Ask for some ID before agreeing to a "breast exam" at a bar, okay?

Who: The CEO of the rather generic-sounding American Media Inc., Pecker oversees a collection of more than a dozen magazines and newspapers including the National Enquirer and Star. The company filed for bankruptcy protection in November 2010.

No longer content with the occasional on-screen cameo, television's "The Incredible Hulk" Lou Ferrigno has joined an armed posse of 55 volunteers in Arizona, led by racist Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio, to hunt down illegal immigrants in the desert.

Zynga, the more-than-a-little-sketchy company behind the insanely popular Facebook game Farmville, is debuting a new product: Cityville, "Zynga's most social game ever." Great! Because what Facebook really needs is another blockbuster game that constantly encourages people to invite their friends.