Actor Charlie Sheen is suing porn star Capri Anderson for extortion, claiming that she demanded a million dollars in exchange for keeping quiet about his probation violations. He also says she stole his $165,000 Patek Philippe watch. True love!

More bad news in New Zealand: Gas levels at the coal mine where 29 are trapped remain too toxic for rescuers.

A 2006 report questioning the validity of climate change methodology has been touted by climate change skeptics as evidence that this whole "global warming" thing is a silly prank. Only: A third of the report was plagiarized.

Tonight, Dancing with the Stars began its two-day finale with the season's last performance episode. After doing "redemption" dances, the final three performed freestyle routines. Predictably, Bristol Palin's effort—a Chicago cage dancing copycat—failed on multiple levels. Watch inside.

At least 345 people were killed and 320 injured during a stampede on a bridge in Phnom Penh, the Cambodian capital, during the country's annual Water festival. It's still unclear what caused the panic.

Ladies, are you pissed at your man again? Whitney Cummings says nix the silent treatment, and instead join your man next time he's watching his favorite game on TV—while asking as many annoying questions as possible.

An oldie but a goodie local news blooper. Albuquerque anchorwoman Cynthia Izaguirre mistakes blindness for gay-ness when throwing to a report about a man who climbed Mount Everest.

The magnificent people of the internet created a Film Noir trailer for the episode and a fantastic mock-up movie poster as well. Did you miss last week's shoot-em-up mystery episode of Community? Catch up here. Once you're ready—onward!

Tonight—at 8:00 PM on ABC—the remaining three celebrities on this season of Dancing with the Stars will sashay across the ballroom floor for the judges' scores and your votes... for the final time! Your open thread is inside.

Before you say it—we know, it's not 1995. This staged video of Full House's Uncle Joey fighting with the director of a sketch has to be shared. When Dave doesn't memorize his Coolio facts, things get super awkward.

[A child wades through an alley clogged with trash in Naples today. There are 10,000 tons of garbage on city streets, and the EU is threatening to intervene if Italy can't solve its chronic trash problem. Image via AP]

If we learned one thing from last night's episode of Undercover Boss, it's that making Subway sandwiches is serious business. Anyone who would tell you different has clearly never trained under this nightmare employee, whose goal is to break you.

Today we looked at how the tuition is too damn high! Some girl spent $200k on Northeastern (oooops) and now wants help paying her loans. This made everyone angry, saying she was dumb. But one commenter came to her defense.

Broadcasting & Cable reports that Britain's ITV talk show host Jeremy Kyle will bring his daytime horrorshow to the US next fall. Into the apocalypse? See him make Jerry Springer look like a humanitarian, inside.

Nicolas Cage loses his shit. A lot. He takes it to a level most Hollywood actors wouldn't dare. Here is a montage of him losing his shit over and over again, set to the Requiem For a Dream soundtrack.

John Yoo, the lawyer who drafted the Bush Justice Department's "torture memos," compares George W. Bush's decision to waterboard suspected terrorists (based on his legal advice) to a driver's decision to go the full speed limit.

Learn something today.

You've seen high intensity highway robberies in the movies, but it's doubtful you've ever seen one about sheep... until now.

Traffic data provider NAVTEQ says New York has the slowest-moving traffic in the country and three of the 10 slowest-moving freeways. In good news, traffic fatalities in the city are at an all-time low. You'll die sitting in gridlock instead!

Al Gore has admitted that his early, critical support for corn-based ethanol subsidies — which he now admits is "not a good policy" — was designed to curry favor with Iowa farmers before his presidential run. Shameful! Enjoy liars' jail.