SNL debuted "I Just Had Sex" on Saturday, the first single from The Lonely Island's forthcoming album. The anthem is a celebration of putting your penis in somebody and features cameos from John McEnroe, Jessica Alba, and Blake Lively!

In 2010, for the first time ever, U.S. internet advertising spending surpassed print newspaper advertising spending. Christ. Does this mean we have to start being nice to newspapers, exhibiting the false graciousness of the mighty? Not looking forward to that.

Watch as an intoxicated bar patron gets shoved down not once, not twice, but four times outside a Midtown East bar. Let this be a lesson to not test the patience of a bouncer.

Bieber-Gomez is the new Swift-Gyllenhaal. Katie Holmes celebrates her birthday with a passionless date with Tom Cruise. Charles Barkley laughs at Brett Favre's penis. Monday gossip is for lovers.

Wall Street's work has ground to a halt. Employees are huddled around fiery trash barrels, discussing their much-diminished bonus pools. CEOs are ordering lowly executives to keep their money woes quiet. It's worse than we thought: they're getting nothing.

She wants cash on the barrel-head before she gives head. This actor is paying for his bad behavior, this singer is paying her man's bills, and this star is paying for a fake relationship. Money makes the gossip go around.

Things got a little nuts last week on the set of Jeopardy! when they unveiled a pretty crazy set of categories for Double Jeopardy. It led to one contestant actually saying: "Alex, I'll take Your Momma for $400."

It sounds crazy but you can actually use a combination of hot air followed by cold air to pop out that unsightly dent. You have to see this to believe it.

Now here is something you don't see every day, a local news report of surveillance footage from a grocery store of a dog who grabs himself an early Christmas present.

Bill Hader's cackling impression of Julian Assange once again popped up in this week's SNL, this time letting us know how he feels about Zuckerberg being named Time's Man of the Year. Who knew Assange and Zuck were so similar?

When you think back on 2010, you may reflect on the elections, or the economy, or the sporting contests. When sexxxy complaint journalist Andrea Peyser looks back on the year, she sees, primarily, gruesome death. And whores! Whores! Whores!

Newark airport is "all clear" after a false explosives scare shut it down this morning. Happy holiday travel season!

Can you guess what movie this image comes from? Check back for the answer at 4pm today.

Much of Europe is out of commission thanks to a crazy snowstorm blanketing the continent. The situation is so incredibly bad that a Lady Gaga concert in Paris was cancelled last night, making this a Snowpocalypse for the ages.

Shootings have inspired a program to equip select New York taxi drivers with bullet proof vests.

North Korea backed off its promise to deliver an "unpredictable self-defensive blow" over South Korean military drills today, but the North kept talking shit, saying the South hadn't learned "a lesson from the disgraceful defeat they suffered" last month. [CNN]

Last year, a car carrying two Armenian men set off a gamma alarm at the Georgia border, but they were allowed in after they blamed it on a recent surgery. Border agents were supposed to ask for a doctor's note.

Now that Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg has overthrown the internet and been named Time's "Person of the Year" is there anything left for him to do? Yes: Conquer China, beginning with this weekend's visit to Beijing.

After messing it up the first time around, the Senate has passed its big food safety bill.

A "criminal gang" trying to steal fuel punctured an oil pipeline in Mexico on Sunday, sending rivers of oil through the streets of the small village of San Martin Texmelucan and causing a massive explosion that killed 28 people. [BBC]