Distract yourself from the impending snowstorm by watching this baby elephant frolic in the sand. Jealous much?

Well, if you're applying to Princeton at least. Also today: Fox's dinosaur show has its launch date, two old friends return to Middle Earth, '90s actors are making good, and a new ABC show sounds bitchy.

Watch this guy startle several Target customers as he describes every mundane move they make over the phone. A hilarious prank? Or really boring espionage in the cat food aisle?

Nouriel Roubini—the fameball economist and "Joe Francis of Pessimism Porn" who predicted the Great Recession—is putting his TriBeCa party pad on the rental market. Sadly, the walls have been shorn of the plaster vulvas that once adorned them.

Pamela Geller, the bored white lady who dedicated her time to haranguing against the "Ground Zero Mosque," is now calling on her fellow oafs to protest the mosque during the upcoming City Council hearings on the proposed NYC Wal-Mart. What?

HBO's television version of the website Funny or Die is coming back for Second 2, which kicks off at midnight on January 14th. To prep us, they've released this sketch featuring Adam Brody, Kristen Wiig and a lot of pancakes.

These guys are some serious ballers. Watch this video of teenagers playing basketball without any need for a backboard. They're just that good.

Remeber the end of Return of the Jedi? Were you just as pissed about all of the annoying celebrations on Endor as I was? If so, then this alternate ending video—with a more destructive tone—will make you happy.

Valentine's Day is just around the corner, meaning you need a date. And what better place to find one than Gawker's own lo-fi personals service, #gawkerdating? Remember to use our handy tips to aid your search. Dinner for two, please!

That Tucson mass murder has been great for Glock sales.

Here's a video of two cockatiels doing the nasty—but wait, that's not all! After all the bumpin' and grindin' is over with, one of the birds begins to whistle—what else?—"Whistle While You Work." But he's already done!

Franck Lebrun was arrested following a flight from NYC to Nice after he was caught smoking and shoved a flight attendant. He then yelled, "I'm French, fuck you." Was he also wearing a beret and eating a baguette?

Whoever said that being a drag queen is easy was wrong. This man turns himself into a buxom blond in what seems like an instant. Make-up really does work wonders.

Ouch: Facebook paid $8.5 million to get fb.com from the rural slickers at the American Farm Bureau.

Fever benefits! Zicam problems! Chemo hair preservation! Oxytocin limits! Flu vaccines! Obesity costs! Mental illness wackjobs! Fluid colds! And screen hypnosis death! It's your Tuesday Health Watch, where we watch your health—as if you have any left!

Here's a new trailer for Priest, a post-apocalyptic vampire thriller in which priests are the protectors of humanity. So it's very unlike the apocalyptic demon thriller in which an angel is the protector of humanity that Bettany was recently in.

An illiterate deaf man who knows no sign language is being prosecuted in Pennsylvania. His linguistic deficit is either his biggest problem—particularly for participating in his defense—or the greatest loophole in his criminal career, depending who you ask.

[Kim Kardashian confirms that her toes are on a low-fat, low-carb diet while getting a manicure in Beverly Hills today. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

On The Bachelor, Brad picked two special ladies for individual dates. Ashley was given her very-own fairground, while Jackie got the Pretty Woman treatment and a private Train show in the closed-down Hollywood Bowl. Which date was better?

New York Rep. Peter King is considering introducing the latest piece of hasty gun legislation after Saturday's shooting spree: Making it illegal to carry a gun within 1,000 feet of government officials. Everyone else can fend for themselves.