Today we learned that most Americans don't blame violent rhetoric or guns for what happened in Tuscon. This is very confusing! Very confusing especially for one commenter, who raised an interesting question.

By this time in the last presidential cycles, 14 candidates had declared their presidential runs. But this year, even though there's only one party with a primary field, zero have declared. What gives? The Internet demands entertainment!

Here we can enjoy some playful banter between the new Idol judges and the veterans. They address adding online voting, Ricky Minor's band not being there this year and the new contestants not knowing who the Beatles are.

The Way We Live Now: reflecting on the long-term implications of our situation. And they ain't good. They just ain't. There's no getting around it. The currency's not bouncing back. The wages are down for good. And Haiti's fucked forever.

On the Today Show this morning a child actor named Reed Alexander cooked a little meal with Kathie Lee and Hoda and it was... curious. Curious how easily this 16-year-old boy fits in with ladies of a certain age. Observe.

Here's a peek behind the scenes of Ellen during a commercial break. Apparently, Richard Simmons thinks his side job is as Ellen's warm-up dancer.

Unfortunate news about Ted "Golden Voice" Williams, Raising Hope gets a full-season order, Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo head to Hawaii Five-o, tons of new TV shows premiere tonight and actually, Sarah Palin's Alaska might return for another season. Sorry.

[Steve Martin had fun in the surf at the pauper's beach colony of St. Barts today. He even lost his bathing suit for a second. Click through for a glimpse of pale old man behind.]

Juan Carlos I, the reigning King of Spain, has a cell phone. Who knew! What's more surprising than this, though—as you'll see from the following video—is that the ringtone for His Majesty's cell phone is, well, really creepy.

Donny Deutsch, the narcissistic ad man and Douche of the Decade candidate who you just can't get away from on TV, has a new show coming on Bravo that casts him as a "relationship expert." Sure, why not? [via Adfreak]

If history has taught us anything, it's that it repeats itself. These two Australian guys invade various fortresses to see what we've really learned from the Battle of Troy. It turns out to be not very much, but hilarious nonetheless.

A Kansas City woman was arrested last night when police arrived at her home and found her husband shot in the genitals. One of two things must have happened, but both scenarios are pretty atrocious.

This girl teaches us how to be "perfect" just like Natalie Portman's Black Swan character Nina Sayers, creating sarcastic brilliance.

The government has almost certainly made secret requests for WikiLeaks-related material from other companies. But only Twitter (successfully at least) fought to have those orders brought into the open. Here's why.

Scientists in London took samples from busy ATMs and nearby toilets and discovered they have the same type and amount of bacteria. Either people are wiping with dollar bills or they aren't washing their hands. I'm sticking to credit cards.

For any Red Hot Chili Pepper fans out there, this kid does a fantastic acoustic cover of their hit "Can't Stop." The singing may not be on par, but his guitar skills are quite amazing. Enjoy.

High-speed photography is awesome, plain and simple. From a water balloon exploding on an attractive woman to a space shuttle launch, the increasingly prevalent method makes anything look better. Case in point: almost two minutes of floating paint. Experience inside.

Arizona's government is fast-tracking a bill today that would make it illegal to protest or picket within 300 feet of funerals. It's a direct response to the Westboro Baptist idiots' plan to protest murdered 9-year-old Christina Green's funeral on Thursday.

Today at Gawker.TV, Donald Glover regales us with the tale of meeting Tracy Morgan, Jim Carrey revives "Fire Marshall Bill," Conan O'Brien gets transformed into a cartoon hero, and The Bachelor takes his two main gals out on cliché dates.

Congratulations to lindsayshipps for being the first person to answer today's Freeze Frame. Click through for the answer. Warning: BOOBS!