Flooding in the Philippines has killed 40 people over the last two weeks. More than 22,000 are in shelters.

A "ball of fire"—likely a meteor—appeared over the U.S. Southeast tonight! You may be reassured to know that the volunteer fire department of Copiah County, Miss., "searched for whatever it was but didn't come up with anything."

On a relatively quiet season finale, Patti finished helping New Yorkers find love. Tonight there was one of the most excitable dates in the history of Millionaire Matchmaker, and another that included self-promoting DVDs and Johnny Utah's.

Click to viewPerhaps you've heard of "Phoenix Jones," the "superhero" who patrols the streets of Seattle in a mask and cape, armed with only his wits and a stun gun? Yeah, he got his nose broken by two actual criminals.

Tosh.0 came back with a Web Redemption of Antoine Dodson and a string of rape jokes. Tosh also made fun of Pittsburgh Steeler Ben Roethlisberger, and introduced his newest game, "Is he retarded?" Watch inside.

Tonight, Jon Stewart opened The Daily Show with a segment about today's Verizon iPhone announcement. He's excited about having Apple's golden product on a different network! Why? Well, because he may actually be able to make calls now. Watch inside.

Arizona police have turned up more evidence against shooting suspect Jared Loughner, including notes that read "Die, Bitch," "I planned ahead," and "My assassination." Loughner's family also released a statement today, reading in part, "We don't understand why this happened."

What's the most efficient way to dislodge a bullet stuck in your head? By sneezing it out, of course! Which is exactly what one Italian man did over New Year's.

Last night, golden-voiced Ted Williams was picked up (and released) by the LAPD after an altercation with his daughter. In an interview with ET tonight, Williams claimed innocence/said it was his daughter who got violent. Shocker: she disagrees! Watch inside.

There's snow in 49 states right now, covering some 69.4 percent of the contiguous United States. Even Hawaii has snow , though it's on a volcano so it's sort of cheating. Can you guess which state is ruining our perfect record?

Nick Kroll thinks we can end the war on terror with bouncers at airports.

Whoops! Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, who's in Yemen for diplomatic talks, fell while getting into a plane today. She's fine, so don't worry! She was probably just drunk. Or maybe she's a klutz like the rest of us.

Do you recognize any of the ladies in this video of a Florida gas station brawl? If so, then the police want to talk to you about the December 30 melee, which they learned about once it hit the web.

An anonymous MySpace employee says company executives tricked workers into sweatshop-ish overwork to save the foundering social network, only to turn around and lay half of them off. The executives' supposed real motivation: Getting rich in a MySpace spinoff.

[A cop keeps watch over a makeshift memorial on the stairs of the Capitol for the victims of the Arizona shootings. Image via Getty]

As if the collective internet wasn't already excited enough, IFC released another clip from Portlandia today. Inside, Fred Armisen and Carrie Brownstein try to one-up each other with their knowledge of the publications each of them read that day.

Julian Assange's borrowed rural mansion is uncomfortably distant from court, so the Wikileaks founder got permission to lodge at London media hangout the Frontline Club. Don't worry, Julian: The club's wine racks sound as well stocked as the manse's cellar.

With 8 to 12 inches of snow expected to fall between tonight and tomorrow, New York City has declared a "weather emergency."

Two trainers have filed a lawsuit against nightclub/workout emporium David Barton Gym, claiming they were harassed and later fired because they're lesbians. We've heard of harassment at this gym before, but it's usually of straight guys in the locker room.

Here's a sneak-preview of PBS' upcoming documentary Jeff Bridges: The Dude Abides. Inside, a clip of the program—which airs tomorrow night—where he visits The Big Lebowski store.