This week's SNL is hosted by Gwyneth Paltrow, except she's stuck in London on account of the weather. So the weekly promos for the show became Andy Samberg and Fred Armisen insisting that Gwyneth was there, petting them from off-screen.

Howard Kurtz has quite a correction today! It seems that Howie mistakenly believed he was interviewing a Congressman, when in fact he was speaking to the Congressman's spokesperson. Weirder: Kurtz waited more than a month to correct the story. [Updated]

After answering an ad in the paper for song-poems, Caglar Juan Singletary, aka Captain Bicycle, discovered his talent for stringing together nonsensical sentences and then talk-singing them. Favorite lines? Thank Jehova for Kung Fu bicycle and Priscilla Presley.

John Travolta sings show tunes to his new son. Kate Hudson is pregnant. Tia Mowry is pregnant. Olivia Munn's see-through panties are getting people worked up. Wednesday gossip is all babies, all the time, with a side of sex.

Is it weird that Rashida Jones asked her sister to come down to the Parks & Rec set to watch her make out with Rob Lowe? She blames it on a sisterly bond, but really it comes down to bragging.

Here's a new trailer for the springtime alien disaster movie Battle: Los Angeles. You may remember that an earlier trailer got us all excited and, happily, this new, more plot-heavy reel doesn't diminish that feeling. This looks good, guys!

Well, it's not much of a secret, because everyone seems to know. This actor's so fat he's breaking the furniture, and this opera star is flashing her private parts to the audience. That's a secret no one wants to know.

It's what you've always wanted: a bunch of terrible actors dressed up as your favorite Simpsons characters and boning each other. This trailer features some POV action of Homer shooting Marge, with various cameos by other characters. It's SFW, mostly.

Day three of the Arianna Huffington Unsafe Airplane Blackberry-ing Scandal: in which Ellis Belodoff of Plainview, Long Island recounts how he yelled at the rich lady on her Blackberry, "What is wrong with you?!"

A "large" beer at Qwest Field—home of the Surprising Seattle Seahawks—costs the customer $1.25 more than a "small." But this fan proves that, although the "large" is taller, both cups hold the same 20 ounces of fluid. Science!

After the horrific Tucson shootings last weekend, future U.S. president Sarah Palin retreated to her prayer cave and prayed for guidance. Today, she's announced her findings: The real tragedy here is "journalists and pundits" who "manufacture a blood libel."

[Italian PM Silvio Berlusconi meets with German Chancellor Angela Merkel in Berlin today. Image via AP]

Singer and prolific Twitterer Courtney Love has been sued for defamation over some badly misspelled threats. While the case faces an uphill battle, it also heralds a new front for libel law. Also? Cardinals manager Tony La Russa is involved.

You think anti-smoking regulations are tough in the US? Well, at least you don't have to worry about your home being raided by police with a tobacco sniffer dog, or face five years in prison for having too many cigarettes.

A judge yesterday dismissed copyright lawsuits between appropriating "street artist" Shepard Fairey and the non-profit Associated Press over an image of Barack Obama that Fairey lifted and profited from. The judge cited a "suggestion of settlement" for his decision. [Image:AP]

Over 60% of registered voters in South Sudan have cast ballots in a referendum on independence from the north.

On last night's Late Show, David Letterman's Top 10 List was "Ways New York City Is Preparing for the Blizzard." T'was mostly kitsch and Mayor Bloomberg-bashing, but—mid-list—Letterman went off on a hilarious tangent about his displeasure with Noxzema.

[Someone—Mayor Bloomberg?—hard at work shoveling in NoLiTa on Wednesday night. Click through for another photo. Image via Dan Nguyen]

The New York Times has spoken with a friend of alleged Gabrielle Giffords shooter Jared Loughner and discovered some warning signs others should have picked up on. Like: It turns out the suspected would-be assassin... kept a dream journal!

Did allegedly sexy schoolteachers Alini Brito and Cindy Mauro have lesbian sex in a non-lesbian classroom? According to your brain, the New York Post, and a Facebook group, yes! But according to Brito, who's filing a wrongful termination lawsuit... no.