Roseanne appeared on Chelsea Lately last night to promote her new book, Roseannarchy. Here, she and Chelsea discuss the difficulties of writing as a comedian, the joys of drunk-dialing, and the necessity of having a "prescription for marijuana."

Philadelphia magazine fired editor Larry Platt for giving a framed photo of his testicle to a female employee. Now he's been named editor of the Philadelphia Daily News—but staff emails about his testicle are still circulating. Here's one!

OK, so this is basically the definition of cute—and funny to boot! Watch as an adorable—albeit slightly pudgy—cat paws away at its empty food bowl, gives a look of despair to its owner, and repeats the cycle... adorably.

Today we looked at a silly uproar over a sex ed teacher's "Vagina Dance" song. Vagina-talk, in our health classes?? What could possibly be next? Well, one commenter already knows.

Click here to read the story. Click here for the backstory.

On Jimmy Kimmel Live, the Modern Family kids discussed the on-set curse jar that's meant to keep the adults from swearing. The funds raised are supposed to go to charity, but Nolan Gould jokingly confessed that he has other intentions.

Congressional security sent a memo to all House members today outlining a three-step response guide for encounters with gunmen: "run, hide, and if all else fails, attack," as Politico summarizes. Why does the fun response have to be last?

Last year, Ricky got lucky with celebrity-scandal-material, saying "Mel Gibson was a gift from the comedy God" This year, he thinks he'll concentrate on Charlie Sheen. He won't go after someone like Russel Crowe, though, for fear they'll attack him.

In Wolf Blitzer's CNN Situation Room today—where things are watched very closely—Jack Cafferty filed a report about Sarah Palin's odd post-Arizona shooting speech. What'd we learn? Cafferty hates Palin—he also thinks her shot at the Presidency is over.

The Way We Live Now: blinking. As some opportunities fade out, others blaze prominently. Win some, lose some, ups and downs, one door closes and another opens, etc. As long as you're not poor, weak, or European, you'll survive. Probably.

Honey, I blew up the popcorn! Watch as this mysterious, faceless man uses a laser to pop exactly one kernel of corn sitting atop a chocolate chip cookie. This is surely the pinnacle of modern technology.

[Sharon Stone leaving the Ritz in Paris. Photo via Bauer-Griffin]

Chinemerem Eze, a Nigerian national attending Brooklyn College, believed that her landlord had hidden a camera in her apartment. When she asked school officials for help, they shipped her off to a psychiatric ward. Then she found the camera.

On Lopez Tonight, Danny tells a story about a frisky flight attendant who sent her warm regards for Joel McHale through a giant, wet kiss. Also included: footage from Danny's college days cheering for Marquette basketball.

This oft-overlooked demographic may just finally get the TV show they deserve. Also today: a new Charlie's Angels is bad for America, more news about Law & Order: Los Angeles shake-up, and superhero sneak peeks!

Bravo renews a whole slew of shows, John Goodman joins the cast of Damages, get ready for Fox's I Hate My Teenage Daugher, and the Glee kids will appear on Sunday's Cleveland Show.

Today's episode of Dr. Phil brought the conclusion of the incredibly hyped, two-day Ted Williams familiy trouble/rehab saga. During it, Dr. Phil held a one-on-one intervention of sorts and asked a reluctant and scared Williams to go straight into treatment.

Joe Nocera, the New York Times' best business columnist, is moving to the op-ed page, Jeff Bercovici reports. Nocera and Paul Krugman together would be a strong team to battle the WSJ. Plus, op-ed's easier for conflicts of interest. (Updated)

Baltimore is being plagued by a man dressing as a woman impersonating a cop and stopping cars on the street. Impersonating a police officer is a serious (but occasionally hysterical) crime. Are we sure it's not the ghost of Divine?

Today at Gawker.TV, Olivia Munn's boobs get some airtime, Jimmy Fallon fills in for Kathie Lee, American Masters looks at Jeff Bridges, The Situation's latest "GTL" product, and Joy Behar responds to the video Snooki and JWOWW made about her.