Many Catholics are probably familiar with the feeling of ambient, unspecified guilt. And not just lay Catholics, apparently! Pope Francis would also like to apologize for... something.

Well, this is horrible. Yesterday rangers at Zimbabwe’s Hwange National Park discovered 26 dead elephants who’d been intentionally poisoned with cyanide for the purposes of ivory harvesting, reports The Guardian. And this is in addition to another 14 found last week.

Two attacks on Israelis were reported on Wednesday as the military deployed 300 soldiers to reinforce 4,000 police officers i cities across the country, the Associated Press reports. In east Jerusalem, authorities erected concrete barriers outside Arab neighborhoods.

Former professional ballplayer Lamar Odom lies in a coma in a Nevada hospital, and TMZ is reporting that his ex-wife, professional Kardashian Khloe Kardashian, is in charge of making his life-or-death medical decisions. Because she’s not his ex-wife after all—they’re still married. Holy shit.

Washington, DC— “I have some hard truths to say,” Louis Farrakhan, the 82-year-old leader of the Nation of Islam, boomed. It was a cool October afternoon and he stood on the steps of the Capitol Building; an ocean of black and brown faces moved before him.

Jennifer Connell, the Manhattan woman who sued her young nephew for breaking her wrist with an enthusiastic hug, didn’t want to file the $127,000 suit, her lawyer says, but the insurance company left her “no choice.”

According to New Hartford police, an upstate New York couple accused of beating their 19-year-old son to death inside a church allegedly did so during a counseling session, “in the hopes that each would confess to prior sins and ask for forgiveness.”

The Lower East Side’s iconic Katz’s Deli is set to open a location in Brooklyn next year. Brooklyn on Manhattan: “I’ll have what she’s having.”

Early this morning, lower Manhattan was rocked by a calcified mystery: a pile o’ bones lying in the middle of the street.

What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, unless it weakens us with severe stomach pains, diarrhea, fever and cramps.

A cache of complaints against United States Customs and Border Protection newly released to the American Civil Liberties Union of Arizona has an unsurprising implication: America’s border patrol officers act just as recklessly, and with just as little punishment as its cops.

A little secret of political journalism is that the vast majority of it is just some jerk’s opinion, which has a scientific value roughly equal to your own idiot opinion.

Risking lawsuits and the loss of federal funding, a Chicago school district says—with absolutely no irony—that it will continue to bar transgender students from using school locker rooms to “ensure a respectful school environment” and “protect the privacy of all students.”

According to E! Entertainment—the television channel behind Keeping Up With the Kardashians and its various spinoffs—a source inside the hospital where Lamar Odom is being treated says the former NBA player tested positive for “virtually every drug imaginable” and may suffer brain damage.

One small county in Tennessee is running out of money, and its Director of Schools has taken it upon himself to address the problem by closing all schools in the middle of the academic year, affecting more than 1,100 students. According to him, it’s all Obamacare’s fault.

This week, Bruce and Deborah Leonard were charged with allegedly beating their son to death inside the Word of Life Christian Church in Chadwicks, New York. According to neighbors, there was always something a little creepy about that church, even before the alleged murder.

On Tuesday night, a woman reportedly walked into an Alaska location of Subway, a popular sandwich chain known for bread that smells like recycled tires, stripped off her clothes, and went on a violent rampage, thoroughly wrecking (and possibly pooping on) the restaurant’s interior. In a real twist, police believe drugs were involved.

During the Democratic debates last night, Bernie Sanders hinted at the need for a tax on carbon to fight climate change. He’s not the only one!

Since news broke last night that former NBA star and Keeping Up with the Kardashians castoff Lamar Odom had been found unconscious in a Nevada brothel, friends—famous and not—have been spotted around his hospital room. And lest you, the Keeping Up With the Kardashians viewer feel left out, fear not: according to Radar Online, the cameras are rolling (UPDATE: Multiple reports refute the Radar story).

Former NBA star and former Kardashian Lamar Odom is reportedly in a coma and breathing with machine assistance after he was reportedly found unconscious at a Nevada brothel. TMZ, which broke the story Tuesday night, reported Odom’s heart is “failing,” and he has serious problems with his kidneys and lungs.