Today Page Six referred to Anderson Cooper's boyfriend Benjamin Maisani as his "companion." Previously the gossip column called him a "friend." An upgrade! Next week they'll be "roommates." But at least we're on track to calling a spade a spade.

In a song entitled, "My Sober," Ashton and step-daughter, Scout sing an ode to coffee.

Barack Obama's State of the Union speech last night centered on "winning the future," a mindless incantation that means nothing and actually sprang from the mind of Newt Gingrich, America's greatest simpleton.

Apparently, some people find the sensation of mild electrocution pleasurable, and Attack of the Show! felt compelled to investigate. Hire this handsome dominatrix and her Victorian torture medical devices, and you too may end up shouting: "Seacrest! SEACREST!!!"

Congratulations are in order for the Grand Resort Hotel & Convention Center in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee, which has been named the Dirtiest Hotel in America. What does a hotel do after winning such a prestigious award?

He may have dated supermodels, but that doesn't mean he's not extra small down there. This actor is extra kinky and likes to expose himself in nightclubs. Let's hope that, unlike the rocker, he's a shower.

Jesse James isn't a Nazi, he's just really "into history," OK? Padma Lakshmi's custody battle erupts. Jessica Simpson fights to keep an embarrassing exercise video under wraps. Wednesday's gossip roundup comes back to bite your well-toned butt.

Last week we met the adorable Iso for a slow motion game of fetch. This week Iso returns to frolic in the snow in slow motion. Or, snow motion.

Last night on the Daily Show, the interview was with none other than James Franco. In a twist of fate—or perhaps a nod to his Oscar nomination—Franco's hand got "stuck" (127 Hours-style) backstage in the green room.

Watch as Vice Magazine covers these beautiful models in thousands and thousands of ladybugs. And as a bonus, apparently these recently hibernating ladybugs are also having sex on the models. Beware the squeamish, this can be difficult to watch.

Season 2 of The Fashion Show has come to a close with its three top designers showcasing their final collections.

American Apparel's breakthrough new advertising strategy: pictures of comely women removing their panties—but drawn in pencil. This changes everything. We were wrong about you, AA. You're practically running an art museum over there. The NSFW ads are here. [Copyranter]

Having already scaled famous landmarks like the Eiffel Tower and the Sydney Opera House, watch "Spiderman" Alain Robert conquer the 450 ft Hang Seng Bank Headquarters in Hong Kong today. Is there anything this guy CAN'T do?

Metro-North officials say the footage on this Youtube video—showing a train door that remains open for two and a half minutes as the train flies full speed through New York City—is "very disturbing." Um yeah.

Can you guess what movie this image comes from? Check back for the answer at 4pm today.

Tunisia's justice minister today issued an international arrest warrant for kleptocratic ex-president Zine al-Abidine Ben Ali, his wife, and other family members for "possessing (expropriated) property and transferring foreign currency abroad." In other words, they're wanted for looting. [AP]

Silvio Berlusconi phoned into a late night talk show that is critical of him and called it a "television whorehouse."

Tea Party zombie Rep. Michele Bachmann delivered a rebuttal to Obama's State of the Union address last night, and besides lacing it with all sorts of nonsense about rising debt and Iwo Jima, she didn't look into the right camera.

Bloodthirsty states are desperate for sodium thiopental—part of the lethal injection cocktail, and may be getting it illegally. Georgia allegedly bought some from an "unlicensed British company that operates from the back of a London driving school." Nice.

On Tuesday, tens of thousands of Egyptians took to the streets in Cairo and Suez, protesting the administration of President Hosni Mubarak late into the night. The protestors were gassed and beaten.