An Indiana University sophomore with a goddamn ridiculous name allegedly shouted “white power” and “kill the police” before attacking and choking a woman in a cafe and later biting a police officer, reports the Washington Post.

“Initial observations indicate a surfer was bit by an eel, not a shark, over the weekend off Hawaii’s popular Waikiki Beach, but officials said Monday they’re working to confirm that,” the Associated Press reports. “The state does not keep records of such bites, as they do for sharks.” Stay tuned!

Texas is canceling its Medicaid contracts with Planned Parenthood affiliates, The Houston Chronicle reported on Monday.

Police announced late on Monday that they believe Glenn Baxter, the father and husband in the Arizona family of five who drowned after their car crashed into Tempe Town Lake, had taken deliberate action to kill his family, the Arizona Republic reports.

The state of Ohio, which last put someone to death in January 2014, has delayed all of its scheduled executions again, until at least 2017, the Associated Press reports. The prisons department announced that it has run out of supplies of lethal injection drugs and hasn’t been able to acquire new chemicals.

The Washington Post has a report on the legal obstacles that may prevent terminally ill Californians who successfully fought to gain the right to die from having a chance to exercise that right.

There are people who spend their entire lives learning the fine art of hypnotism. If they were wise, they’d save a lot more time and money by just using this dumb video of a Great Dane.

The New York Times reports that Wall Street investment firm and national landlord The Blackstone Group is about to buy Stuyvesant Town-Peter Cooper Village—at 11,232 units across 110 buildings, the largest apartment complex in Manhattan—for around $5.4 billion.

A Norwegian hunting party failed to notice a fence separating them from a pair of majestic moose until after they’d shot and killed their quarry. It was a zoo fence. These motherfuckers gunned down zoo animals. Dammit.

In a tragic incident in New York, authorities say a man who was washing the blood of his own yellow lab off the street was also stuck and killed on the roadway. The dog and his owner were killed just minutes apart.

For the second time in a little over a decade, a drought so severe has hit southern Mexico that water levels have dropped 82 feet—low enough to reveal the 16th-century church at the bottom of the Nezahualcoyotl reservoir, a watershed of the Grijalva river.

Former track star Oscar Pistorius, convicted of culpable homicide last year in the shooting death of his model girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp, was released on house arrest Monday, prison officials confirmed to the BBC. That’s one day ahead of schedule, and less than one year after he was first jailed.

An NYPD officer was indicted this afternoon for allegedly falsifying the deed on a Bed-Stuy townhouse, swiping it from its rightful owner and placing it under her own name.

A professor at Tarleton State University in Stephenville, Texas, has resigned in the wake of a bizarre, gruesome report that accuses the now-former political science teacher of coercing students into aiding him with something called the “Sundance Ritual.” As part of the ritual, Professor Jeff William Justice reportedly pressured several students into hanging him from the trees at his house using hooks attached to nothing but the skin on his chest.

As long as people believe that Donald Trump built himself up from nothing, does it really matter that he was in fact born rich?

A 40-year-old man from East London named Stephen Port has been charged with murdering four men he met on “gay dating websites,” according to the Evening Standard. His weapon of choice? Lethal doses of the drug GHB, which is known as the “date rape drug,” but is also used recreationally, in bodybuilding, and by John Stamos.

Earlier today, the Associated Press’s politics-focused Twitter account tweeted out perhaps the most important piece of news the venerated outlet will ever break—just in time for Halloween.

Two self-described hackers say they’ve breached an AOL account belonging to CIA Director John Brennan, the New York Post reports. If their claim is true, this means a pair of teenagers has access to the personal files of one of the most powerful men in the world.

A writer for San Francisco blog SFist says her Uber driver threatened to rape and kill her Thursday night after he became outraged that he couldn’t find her location. After she published her disturbing account of the incident, she reported Uber called to apologize and let her know it has cut ties with the driver.

In February, the Guardian published a deep investigation into Homan Square, a shadowy facility where the Chicago Police Department takes suspects without booking them, entering them into any official database, or giving them access to a telephone or their lawyer. A new Guardian report claims that more than twice as many people have been “disappeared” into Homan as officials initially disclosed.