This spoof of the Social Network has a confusing plot about keystone, bros and a lot of mindless drinking.

The Way We Live Now: giving up on dreams. They're complicated, they're expensive, and you never get your investment back. Why bother with dreams when you can find nearly as much satisfaction from tax rebates, gambling, and condos? Settle, settle.

Iowa's House of Representatives voted in favor of a constitutional ban on gay marriage, civil unions, and domestic partnerships today.

As a New Year's resolution, Kevin Nealon has taken up meditation. Only for him, the meditating turns into worrying, and he's got quite a lot of fears. Today on Ellen, he explained his "spheres of fear."

After deciding to do his three-month stint in "rehab" from the comfort of his home, Charlie Sheen also decided he will work during "rehab," so that Two and a Half Men won't fall too far behind.

This week's episode of The Bachelor may just be the most unintentionally funny episode yet. Figure 1: Brad dons enough makeup to look like a ken doll and gets hoisted up into the Cirque du Soliel stage (see above.)

Hollywood has it wrong: The real "father of Facebook" was not a young hacker working out of a Harvard dorm room; it was a technologically advanced dentist in the suburbs of New York City. Just ask Edward J. Zuckerberg, D.D.S.

Sunday night Julianna Margulies won Best Actress at the SAG Awards and found a way to thank her in-laws in the acceptance speech. Definitely a rarity, she explains the very sweet reason she did such a thing.

The Newsweek- Daily Beast merger officially went through today. And, a tipster says, TDB already told "most of the editorial and production assistants they've hired the past few months" that "their jobs are over." Journalism's rough! Know more? Email me.

Bill Cosby was the first African American actor to star in the lead role of a television series in 1965. This was a big deal especially as tensions were still high in the south. Bill and Robert agreed that by not addressing the milestone they were not giving weight to those who were against civil rights. The situation, instead, was just as ordinary as any other show.

Calvin Klein's porn star boyfriend's 21st birthday bash took place last week, but Michael Musto got his hands on some photos. Donna Karan, Anna Wintour, Alec Baldwin, and Daphne Guinness all stopped by. They must really love Calvin!

Ricky Gervais has been invited to host the Golden Globes again, Jane Lynch and Kiefer Sutherland will appear on The Simpsons, Kristen Bell returns to TV, Kathy Griffin will play a cruel comic on The Defenders, and tonight's TV lineup.

Here's a trailer for the Judd Apatow-produced comedy Bridesmaids, a movie that may finally solve that age-old debate about whether women, the ones with the vaginae, can be funny or not. Judging from this trailer, it looks like they can!

Google's head of Middle East marketing has reportedly been missing for a week in Egypt after participating in the protests there. His wife has appealed for any information on his whereabouts.

Congratulations to urban fervor for being the first person to answer today's Freeze Frame.

Today at Gawker.TV, Fox and Friends is up in arms over a British Superman, Adam Scott hates working with attractive people, Katy Perry promotes her appearance on HIMYM, and Justin Bieber says the word "like" like, a lot.

A drug gang murdered a woman distributing newspapers in Ciudad Juarez because she was a "threat" to their vending racket. Jesus.

This has to be the most complicated and effective way to paint a rainbow. We're all looking forward to the possibility of seeing more rainbows on drab, grey walls.

Yes, the melodrama comedian guy is going a very different route for his next movie. Also today: the mother of all apocalypse yarns is on its way to the big screen, while The Kennedys finds a home on the small.

[The always delightful Helen Mirren at a movie premiere in London. Photo via Getty]