Hollywood has it wrong: The real "father of Facebook" was not a young hacker working out of a Harvard dorm room; it was a technologically advanced dentist in the suburbs of New York City. Just ask Edward J. Zuckerberg, D.D.S.

Judging from a letter he sent to prospective patients, Zuckerberg is as proud of his son Mark's burgeoning social network as he is eager to promote his long-established "painless" dental practice in Dobbs Ferry. In the solicitation, reproduced below, the elder Zuckerberg says "I am literally the Father of Facebook" (emphasis in the original) before proceeding to vigorously tout his pioneering use of "Air-Abrasion-drill free technology," "COSMETIC TOOTH BONDING," and a 1984 fellowship (sorry, "FELLOWSHIP").

Sure, Dr. Zuckerberg misspeaks in calling himself the "literal" father of Facebook, as Time points out. But give the guy some leeway: He paid to send Mark to Harvard for a year and still has nothing to show for it! And have you looked at Facebook's privacy settings lately? They owe a very substantial debt to certain dental procedures, like the root canal. That's hardly a coincidence.