Michelle Obama claims that President Obama hasn't smoked a cigarette in "almost a year." That's frightening news. If he hasn't been smoking while dealing with this Egyptian crisis, then something's wrong with him.

Well, this is quite depressing. Watch as an older gentleman at a Shell gas station in Seattle robs another older gentleman at gunpoint, albeit extremely politely/apologetically. Is this the most polite armed robbery ever? The saddest? You be the judge.

Regis Philbin won't retire from his show as soon as originally announced, Keith Olbermann's new gig, clever Mad Men advertising in New Zealand, and Charlie Sheen will supposedly be back at work on America's favorite sitcom within two weeks.

This is a story about a famous quarterback's courtship of a 17-year-old girl and the girl's conflicting emotions about fame. No one committed any crimes, as far as we know. [Deadspin]

Last night, Prince performed a concert at Madison Square Garden. During the show, he invited Kim Kardashian on stage to dance with him. But she just stood there awkwardly! So, he kicked her ass off the stage like a boss.

Jersey Shore brawler and undiscovered artistic talent Jenni "JWOWW" Farley released her dating guide, The Rules According to JWOWW, today. Shockingly, she's got some pretty good advice for everyone.

Congratulations to nickolasss for being the first person to answer today's Freeze Frame.

Today at Gawker.TV, Modern Family's Jesse Tyler Ferguson and Eric Stonestreet perform a musical number, Ed Helms does Tom Brokaw, Lil' Wayne can bowl, and watch the Today Show anchors lose their cool while sexually-charged animals climb all over them.

Fox News put together a focus group of likely Iowa Republican caucus-goers to watch President Obama's pre-Super Bowl interview with Bill O'Reilly and gauge their reactions. So why were the reactions so negative when he was giving fairly boilerplate responses to O'Reilly's questions about the Egyptian uprising and any potential threats posed by the Muslim Brotherhood?

This ditty dedicated to teaching children about evolution puts an irreverent spin on traditional Christian hymns. Praise almighty DNA for creating each calf we turn to veal, Mother Teresa, and even the lamprey eel!

In your opportune Tuesday media column: Sean McManus leaves as head of CBS News, HuffPo bloggers timidly call for pay, Bill O'Reilly is full of shit, NYT correction of the day, magazine circulation drops, a new editor at the Chicago Reader, and how much can you trust your free guest blog content?

Facebook announced it will move to new offices nearly seven times the size of its current headquarters. Someone is planning on conquering the world, clearly.

John Larroquette guest stars as a spy that has a past with General Diane Beckman. He brings Chuck back to when the Berlin Wall came down, and when you're flashing back to then of course The Scorpions are always playing.

Dinosaurs can be scary, but did anyone stop to think that maybe they're just a little misunderstood?

After some skating around on a frozen lake, this Norwegian strips to his skivvies and takes a dive into the frozen water. He even pounds a hole in the ice and swims underneath it—while still wearing his skates. Your nipples will freeze just watching it. By the end of the video we learn that the whole event was brought to you by a half-empty bottle of vodka. Man, they make them tough—and crazy—in Norway. [via]

It's easy to get transported to a happy place when watching this kitten play in a garden. Suddenly it's warm and sunny outside and you are surrounded by complete cuteness.

This year, Harvard's Hasty Pudding Theatrical Society named none other than Jay Leno as 2011's Man of the Year. Did you feel as though the reporters could have asked some tougher questions? You're not the only one.

Yesterday's House is the episode that FOX is bound to submit for Emmy consideration at the end of the season: every aspect of the show — writing, acting, direction, production design, etc. — was at the top of its game.

Isaiah Mustafa appeared on Wendy Williams today to talk about the usual i.e. Old Spice, women and his career as a viral commercial star. Even Wendy toned down the crazy during the interview.

Different cities hosted different portrayals of Bozo the Clown. Chicago's Bob Bell created a character that inspired Dan Castellaneta's interpretation of Krusty the Clown on The Simpsons. Meanwhile WIllard Scott's Bozo morphed into who we now know as Ronald McDonald.