This is a video of a nine-year-old Tanzanian boy named Alex recapping the 1985 Arnold Schwarzenegger movie Commando (the video was produced by Joe Sabia for nonprofit Mama Hope's campaign "Stop the Pity. Unlock the Potential"). And we are so conflicted about it! Because, on the one hand, aaahhhhhhh this is so cute. And on the other hand, it's like, Alex, hello, have you even seen Predator, because it is one thousand times better than Commando. [via Boing Boing]

For some insane reason, Justin Bieber his own line of nail polish called "One Less Lonely Girl." Actually, that's wrong—there it is completely rational: Bieber just sold 1 million bottles of the sticky stuff made by Nicole by Opi. Next up: Justin Bieber training bras.

Aziz Ansari reveals the most preposterous, and fascinating argument against gay marriage he's ever heard. Spoiler alert: it involves box turtles.

From his bombastic OKCupid profile to his creepy love letters to a 19-year-old girl, Wikileaks founder Julian Assange has some strange romantic proclivities. Strangest of all is his apparent obsession with littering the world with offspring. He's fathered at least four children with mistresses, and he boasts about it.

1 in 5 syphilis tests give false positives, according to a new study. Wow! Guess it's a tiny bit better than the other way around.

This morning we looked at a couple of humorous suggestions for where single people can spend Valentine's Day, sparking many a gripe about being a lonely singleton on V-Day and how miserable it is. Luckily one commenter swooped in and reminded us that it's going to be bad for everyone.

Hello! Tonight, American Idol is back with another always-entertaining episode (on FOX, at 8:00 PM ET). So, stop what you're doing, get in front of the television (and your computer, duh), and join us inside for our live-blog!

Here's a trailer for this summer's X-Men prequel (sort of?), X-Men: First Class, about what went down when Professor X and Magneto first got together and built their mutant school and stuff. It looks surprisingly good?

[New York Fashion Week kicked off at Lincoln Center today. Rather than look at the clothes, here are some of the fabulous images of what happened backstage, like these models mugging for the cameras before the Vena Cava show. Image via Getty]

LeVar's endless enthusiasm circa '83, reminds us that it's the simple things in life that matter. Like, when you're riding aboard a passenger train and you discover a shower in your personal bathroom. "Oh boy!" is right.

The first day of this year's all-important Conservative Political Action Conference, a summit for top Republican politicians and operatives heading into a presidential election cycle, wasn't dominated by Newt Gingrich or Tim Pawlenty or any other actual Republican politician. It was Donald Trump, the wealthy television clown, who stole the show with the blunt, meandering speech he'd invited himself to deliver at the last minute.

Here's a cute dog named Charlie Chewz. With a little help from his owner, Charlie rocks out—hardcore—to metalcore grou August Burns Red for a whole four minutes. What did your dog do today? Not this? Yeah, thought so.

The white "Glavis" dress that Lindsay Lohan wore for her latest court date yesterday (yes, the one that looked like a doily that shrunk in the crotch) was so popular that it is completely sold out, according to designer Kimberly Ovitz. Let's see if she'll have the same effect on orange jump suits in a month.

Paranoid, vindictive, and possibly insane Fox News boss Roger Ailes has been sitting for interview with every elitist pinko rag in America lately. Now, the bizarre, crowning achievement: New York magazine's Gabriel Sherman is writing an entire book on Fox News, centering on Roger Ailes. The "insidery" media "story behind the story" here is, Gabriel Sherman is not the type one would naturally consider to be a friend of Fox News. Given Ailes' insatiable desire to shoot his mouth off with self-justificatory diatribes, this should be interesting.

Last night's American Idol, with auditions being held in San Francisco, was full of characters. Or at least that's what they kept stressing: "You never know who could show up in San Francisco.

Professor Splash recently belly flopped off of a rickety platform, measuring 11.03 meters high, into 30 cm of water. He now holds the Guinness Book of World Records title for the highest jump into the shallowest body of water.

Chandler's new show premiered last night where Monica's old-new show should have been, and it blew it out of the water. Also today: lots of pilot casting news including TV roles for movie people, an interesting idea for The Office's future, and a scintillating blind item.

Sarah Palin appeared last night on Sean Hannity's TV show, where she was asked about Rick Santorum's comments that she was not going to CPAC for the reasons of financial opportunities and the responsibilities of motherhood. And while she almost let the whole thing go, she didn't hold back from tweaking her potential rival for the Republican presidential nomination.

Tonight on Parks and Recreation, Megan Mullally's Tammy will return to Ron Swanson's life and we all know the disastrous effects it will cause. Good thing somebody created a movie-style trailer about the pair's reunion! Spoilers inside.

These motorcycles belong to Tom Cruise and David Miscavige, the leader of Scientology. Miscavige's is in the center; Cruise's Honda Rune is on the left and his Triumph Rocket is on the right. Those luscious, deep red tones were custom-painted by Scientology drones earning less than $1 an hour.